There is now a Level Zero.

Two points if you recognize that quote. It's from one of our favorite movies around this house. :)

So. My back.

Not so good.

The weekend of July 4th was pretty awful, in terms of pain. That Saturday, we went out to eat at a local chain restaurant. I was already having some trouble walking- there was a significant amount of pain, but I could still get around without assistance. So we get to the restaurant, I grab my cup, and limp over to the drinks dispenser. I fill up my cup, and OW. OW. OW.

You wouldn't think that there's much difference between an empty cup and a full cup, would you? There is. There really is. I could FEEL the difference in my lower right back muscles, and it HURT. How messed up is THAT? (Also, PLEASE TO HAVE MORE CAPS, BECAUSE I'M APPARENTLY CRAZY CAPS LADY TODAY. Thank you.)

I'd been icing my back constantly, but it just got worse. I had to start using my cane- I took it with me to see the fireworks on the 3rd- festive, right? And so on Tuesday, I called the doctor, and they got me in on Wednesday. Three prescriptions (Prednisone, Flexeril, and Celebrex), one order for physical therapy, and two hours waiting in Walmart (I was nearly in tears by the time we left) later, here I am.

The meds help. I finished the Prednisone yesterday, and that seems to have done the most to stop the pain. I'm guessing there was a significant amount of swelling like there was the last time I was on it, and for the most part (of course, more on this later), the overwhelming pain is gone. The Flexeril was fantastic for a few days in stopping the out-of-control muscle spasms. Holy Mother of God, those hurt. WHOA. I could've cracked walnuts with my back, no joke! :D And the Celebrex helped with the overall pain, except it only made me sleepy when I took it during the day. When I took it at night, I was still awake three hours later. Go figure. :D

I started physical therapy, and it's pretty awesome! My PT gave me some stretches to do. She agreed that my back is pretty gristly, lol, and she works on massaging out this very large knot in my...ahem...VERY VERY WAY LOWER right back. So, she and I talk about life and kids and pets, and she rubs my butt. Yup. It's a glamorous life, I know. :D She's actually really fantastic and I look forward to going every single time. This week, she gave me a few exercises to help strengthen my core, and I've been doing them faithfully every morning (and they help! This one in particular involves tensing my lower abdominal muscles, and I found that doing that mostly stops random muscle spasms! And if I tense those muscles while going down the stairs, I can move at a mostly normal pace!). (Stuart did them with me last night, which was adorable, and then later on, I was letting him watch some parkour and freerunning videos on my computer. One of the owners of a gym specifically for freerunning was explaining about the gym and how training there works your entire body and strengthens your core muscles. Stuart's eyes went all big, and he goes, "Mom! You'll be able to do parkour!" I laughed hysterically and replied, "No, I'll be able to walk." Big difference!)

But my big problem is pushing myself. I really, REALLY need to learn to sit the hell down and let myself heal. Yesterday was the best day I've had since before Stuart's birthday (which was June 22nd). I was able to go to Walmart and grab a few groceries with minimal pain, as well as do a few chores around the house, all without, you know, collapsing. Yay! But today, I tried to do a little more than I should, and I'm sitting on the couch now with shooting pain down my right leg again. *insert angry face here* So much for cleaning the kitchen; apparently, bending and lifting is still right out. Sigh. So here I sit, perched on a lovely block of icepack, contemplating hitting up the bottle of Celebrex and wondering if science has invented such a thing as the full-body transplant yet. Anyone? Yes?

So that's where I am right now, resting somewhat uncomfortably at Level Zero. I'm determined, though- maybe a little too determined, which is why I pushed myself a little too hard today. It's frustrating (and boring) to not be able to move normally, for stupid household tasks like putting dishes in the dishwasher to be next to impossible (at least without pain). I feel like I'm not pulling my weight around the house (and I'm not! Because pulling ANYTHING hurts, lol. OMG, I think I need a nap), and that makes me feel guilty. But I need to slow it down, because otherwise, I'm just going to stay in the same place. Rome wasn't built in a day, and whatever city I'm building, I need to focus on starting with my one single stone. At Level Zero.