Open Mind, Insert Book.

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-20T17:23:00.003-06:00

So it's been a while.

I know, I know. Bad book blogger! *slaps own hand with ruler*

When we last left off, my back was recovering nicely, my son was starting school, and I was ready to head back to college. And then life happened.

Let's go down the list, shall we? My back is still hinky. Some days are fine and I only have little twinges here and there. Other days are...other days. But I'm doing my best to keep a good sense of humor about the whole thing. The last few days have been kind of rough. To the makers of Celebrex, thank you. That stuff helps a lot.

Stuart. He's doing well in school and still likes it. I do miss homeschooling him, especially on days when he comes home with a boatload of homework. Heck, mostly on days with a boatload of homework. He's got new friends, he's joined the school running club, and overall, it's worked out quite nicely.

College! I have to say I wasn't totally in love with my classes last semester, but I did well (A's on everything, thankyouverymuch!), and I've met some really fantastic people. It feels really good to be accomplishing something concrete for myself. I love learning, I don't even mind homework, so I'm really enjoying putting my brain to work. I'm taking biology and a math class this semester, and so far I love them both (which is a little freaky, because I've never, ever been a math and science person before. Ever). I want a time machine so that I can put my bio teacher in it and send him back to my high school, so he can explain the chemistry portion of bio to me, so that I wouldn't have to spend the next two decades of my life thinking I was a moron for not getting it. He explained the basics of chemistry in class the other day, and it made sense for the first time in my life. I sat there going, "OH. Why didn't anyone explain it like that in the first place?!???" I love it, and I'm feeling really good about both of my classes.

I've also started making some local friends. They're an amazing, talented, funny, friendly group of people, and it's the first time in my adult life that I've actually had more than one or two local friends. It's fabulous. :)

SO. My studies, Stuart's homework, trying to keep the house clean, running errands like grocery shopping and getting the oil changed, cooking dinner every night, writing, finding time to exercise, slipping in a little reading here and there...all that has seriously sucked all the time out of my life. Something had to give, and unfortunately, this book blog was the first thing to go. I'm going to try to be better about it, though. I may not get to update after every single book I read, but I'll try to blog about the books that affect me the most. I'll at least do a monthly post, marking all the books I've read that month (sadly, with all the reading and studying I do for school, my reading has slowed down quite a bit). But posting here more often is one of my resolutions for the year. :)

With that said, let me list the rest of the books I read last year. I'll bold the ones I really loved:

88. Endless Love- Scott Spencer

89. Catch a Match- Gena Showalter

90. Night Light: A Parody- The Harvard Lampoon (If you like Twilight, if you hate Twilight, if you love to make fun of Twilight- read this. I had TEARS. SO very funny.)

91. Skipping a Beat- Sarah Pekkanen

92. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks- E. Lockhart

93. Le Petit Nicolas et Les Copains- Sempé (Yes, all in French. Yay, me! And did you notice the accent mark? I got a new laptop with a keypad. I can do fancy accent marks now! I may be the only person excited by these sorts of things.)

94. Sisterhood Everlasting- Ann Brashares

95. The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde

96. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society- Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

97. The Tulip and the Pope: A Nun's Story- Deborah Larsen

98. A Separate Peace- John Knowles

99. Almost Perfect- Brian Katcher

100. Prophet's Prey: My Seven-Year Investigation Into Warren Jeffs and the Fundamental Church of Latter-Day Saints- Sam Brower

101. Artemis Fowl- Eoin Colfer

102. You Are What You Speak- Robert Lane Greene

103. White Fang- Jack London

104. Holes- Louis Sachar

105. Chosen- Chandra Hoffman

106. From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler- E.L. Konigsburg

107. Favorite Wife- Susan Ray Schmidt

108. My Side of the Mountain- Jean Craighead George

109. The Help- Kathryn Stockett

110. The Real State of America Atlas: Mapping the Myths and Truths of the United States- Cynthia Enloe and Joni Seager

111. Goodnight Tweetheart- Teresa Medeiros

112. Elizabeth and Hazel: Two Women of Little Rock- David Margolick

113. Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not For Sale, An Activist Finds Her Calling and Heals Herself- Rachel Lloyd

114. What is a Jew? Rabbi Morris N. Kertzer

115. Unchosen: The Hidden Lives of Hasidic Rebels- Hella Winston

And this year so far:

1. Mystics, Mavericks, and Merrymakers: An Intimate Journey Among Hasidic Girls- Stephanie Levine and Carol Gilligan

2. Orange is the New Black- Piper Kerman

3. Future Perfect- Suzanne Brockman

4. Always Something There to Remind Me- Beth Harbison

So that's it! I'll try to be back as soon as I can, when I'm not buried under mounds of biology reading, math problems, and trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing with my writing. :) Cheers!

Baby got BACK!

2011-08-18T11:51:00.004-05:00

Okay, maybe not THAT kind of back. But my back, my actual back, is BACK!

First, a brief update on the state of my back. Six weeks of physical therapy have done a body some serious good. My physical therapist is an amazing woman. She always knew exactly where my pain came from (even when I couldn't pinpoint it, she'd touch something in my lower back and say, "Does this hurt?" and that would be the exact spot. I suspect she dabbles in some sort of magic...) and taught me stretches and exercises that not only decreased my pain but helped to build up the muscles around the affected areas. And you better believe I keep up with those exercises! Every night after I shower, I'm on the bed, stretching, waving my legs around, probably looking like a thrashing giraffe, but you know what? I'm okay with that. Because I feel SO much better.

I can walk. I can walk without pain. I've been going for 40 minute walks every day, in 90+ degree heat, simply because I can, and it feels so good. After spending the entire summer wallowing in a whole boatload of pain, the simple act of walking feels miraculous to me. I don't care if I come home sweaty, dripping, looking like I just climbed out of a swamp (I really do sweat a lot, it's kind of embarrassing); I can walk. And that, to me, is nothing short of amazing.

I learned some interesting things about my body during physical therapy, too. After the weird 'where my muscles in my lower back attach to my spine' pain went away, it turns out my other pain was coming from my right sacroiliac joint. Now, to me, there are three different kinds of si joint pain. The first one is kind of a creepy-crawly burning pain that snakes from the joint itself around to the front of the pelvic bone (and sometimes causes a weird burning nerve pain down my leg). It's painful, but not overly so; I can handle it without medication (and this is the only kind of pain I really have left, just little flashes of it now and then). The second is a sensation that someone is trying to yank my pelvis apart like a Thanksgiving wishbone (lot of fun, that!). And the third, which is by far the worst, is when the other two kinds of pain are present and my entire pelvis feels like it's weighted down with a thousand pounds. Movement is next to impossible when Pain #3 is hanging around, and simply getting up from a sitting or laying down position is next to impossible. I can handle the other two types of pain, but #3 is enough to make me break down in tears, because it really makes me feel like I'll never move normally again. So very frustrating.

Another interesting thing I learned is that I'm lopsided. :D My physical therapist was checking my range of motion one day by having me bend over and touch my toes (which I can't do all that well on a good day! I'm about the least flexible person alive, and my legs are ridiculously long. I usually give the excuse that they're just too far away...). She made a face at me and asked if I had scoliosis, which I don't. She then checked my spine (it's straight!) and said, "I'm going to measure your legs." Turns out my right leg is four-tenths of a centimeter longer than my left! Apparently, that's not terribly uncommon, but with my degenerative disc disease, it might be enough to throw everything else off, so now I wear an insert in my left shoe to try to make up for the difference. I could feel a difference in my leg muscles within hours of adding the insert to my shoe- how wild is that?

So that's where I'm at these days. Up, not quite running, but I'm okay with starting out slow. I've even added a few new exercises I found online to my nightly stretching and muscle-building routine. I don't ever want to have another flare-up like this last one, but if I do, I want to be prepared, to meet it head-on with stronger muscles and tools to keep me moving.

And with that, I'm off to change into some workout-appropriate clothing and head out the door for a walk. Because I can. :)

Um...-Michael Erard

2011-08-03T14:02:00.003-05:00

#87. Um...: Slips, Stumbles, and Verbal Blunders, and What They Mean- Michael Erard

Whoa. This is a really information-dense book. It's not long, but it's packed with lots of info and things to think about, so it took me a while to get through it.

Um. Uh. Hmm. We all make those vocalized pauses (as they were called in my speech class), but they're frowned upon in public speaking. Why? What are they, exactly? Why do we say them, and what does it mean when we do? These are some of the questions Michael Erard answers. In the beginning of the book, he states that while reading this book, you'll start to notice other people's verbal blunders (and your own!), and that's okay, it's totally normal. And you bet I have! :D

A few quotes that I enjoyed:

The ancient Vedic tradition defines the sound "om" as the primordial sound of the universe. Intriguingly, "um" might be the more accurate manifestation of the universe's indecision. p55

I love that. :D

According to William Levelt, a Dutch speech scientist, "uh" is the only word that's universal across languages. p55

The sounds switch according to the sounds of each language, but there's a form of "uh" in every language. Even signed languages have a form of this word! So cool.

In Britain, they say "uh" but spell it "er," just as they pronounce the "er" of "butter" ("buttah). p55

The above? BLEW. MY. MIND. Here, I've been pronouncing that as it looks, rhyming with FUR all these years. Never ONCE did I like about what it would sound like with a British accent. HOW? HOW DID I NOT THINK ABOUT THAT?!?!??????

There's a little bit of everything in here: psychology, sociology, linguistics, history. You'll learn about Spoonerisms, malapropisms, eggcorns, and Mondegreens (those last two were new ones for me). You'll learn about repairs and anticipation errors. And you'll pay a LOT more attention to how you speak, how others speak, and you'll think twice about how and why you judge the way others speak. Intriguing read!

Words:

solecism- n- a nonstandard or ungrammatical use, as unflammable and they was; a breach of good manners or etiquette; any error, impropriety, or inconsistency.

saturnine- n- sluggish in temperament, gloomy, taciturn; suffering from lead poisoning, as a person; due to absorption of lead as bodily disorders.

metathesis- n- the transposition of letters, syllables, or sounds in a word; (Chemistry) double decomposition.

parapraxis- n- a slip of the tongue or pen, forgetfulness, misplacement of objects or other error thought to reveal unconscious wishes or attitudes.

infelicity- n- the quality or state of being unhappy, unhappiness; misfortune, bad luck; inaptness, inappropriateness, or awkwardness, as of action or expression; something inapt or infelicitious.

insurrection- n- an act or instance of rising in revolt, rebellion, or resistance against civil authority or an established government.

parallax- n- the apparent displacement of an observed object due to a change in the position of the observer; (Astronomy) the apparent angular displacement of a celestial body due to its being observed from the surface instead of from the center of the earth (diurnal parallax or geocentric parallax) or due to its being observed from the earth instead of from the sun (annual parallax or heliocentric parallax); the difference between the view of an object through the picture-taking lens of a camera and the view as seen through a separate viewfinder; an apparent change in the position of cross-hairs as viewed through a telescope when the focusing is imperfect.

dross- n- waste matter, refuse; (Metallurgy) a waste product taken off molten metal during smelting, essentially metallic in character; (British) coal of little value. (Hmm. Both when I copied this definition in my notebook and just now as I typed it out, I started spelling 'essentially' e-s-e. Wonder what that means?!??)

perspicacious- adj- having keen mental perception and understanding; (Archaic) having keen vision.

mutable- adj- liable or subject to change or alteration; given to changing, constantly changing, fickle or inconstant.

shibboleth- n- a peculiarity of pronunciation, behavior, mode of dress, etc. that distinguishes a particular class or set of persons; a slogan, catchword; a common saying or belief with little current meaning or truth.

stentorian- adj- very loud or powerful in sound.

exigency- n- exigent state or character, urgency; (Usually exigencies) the need, demand, or requirement intrinsic to a circumstance that demands prompt action or remedy, emergency.

perorate- v- to speak at length, make a long, usually grandiloquent speech; to bring a speech to a close with a formal conclusion.

dehisce- v- to burst open, as capsules of plants; gape.

abstruse- adj- hard to understand, recondite, esoteric; (Obsolete) secret, hidden.

Something Blue- Emily Giffin

2011-08-03T13:51:00.003-05:00

#86. Something Blue- Emily Giffin

The sequel to Something Borrowed (which I loved). Rachel didn't mean to fall for her fairweather best friend's fiance, nor did he mean to fall for Rachel. But it happened, and for the first time, Darcy is on the losing end of things.

But no matter, right? She's got Marcus, the guy she was cheating on Dex with (that sounds awkward...). And she's pregnant! And she and Marcus are going to get married and live happily ever after, so that'll show Dex and Rachel and everyone that Darcy was the real victim here, but that she always comes out on top.

Except Marcus turns out to not exactly be the guy Darcy wanted him to be. He doesn't put up with her whining, her manipulation, her games, not the way Dex did. Marcus finally has enough and dumps Darcy, who still can't quite believe that Dex and Rachel are a REAL COUPLE now. Lost, alone, without any real friends or the support of her family, Darcy packs up and heads to London to visit Ethan, a mutual friend of Rachel's. It's supposed to be a temporary vacation, but, as always, Darcy has other plans...

This didn't work quite as well for me as Something Borrowed, but there was still a lot to admire about it. Quite a few times, I sat back and laughed and shook my head at how well Giffin writes such an awful, awful person as Darcy. Because Darcy's flat-out horrid! She's self-centered, narcissistic, bitchy, vapid...I have to wonder if it was difficult for her to do, or if it was fun (or maybe both!). Darcy transforms over the course of the story. I'm not sure I totally buy that, knowing what I know about human nature. Would someone like Darcy really change? Would Ethan act the way he did at the end? My own personal jury's still out on these questions. I'd love to hear what you think! :)

Sing You Home- Jodi Picoult

2011-08-03T13:33:00.005-05:00

#85. Sing You Home- Jodi Picoult

Zoe and Max have been struggling with infertility for years. Their latest round of IVF was successful but the pregnancy ends in a stillbirth at 26 weeks. And after that, Max is DONE with a capital D. He can't take any more pain, any more grief, any more of Zoe. He's out and filing for divorce. The split is simple, easy; both go their separate ways. Max starts drinking again and is taken in by his uberreligious brother and his wife; Zoe befriends Vanessa, a counselor at a school where Zoe works as a music therapist, and despite having lived a straight life, Zoe falls in love with her.

Zoe struggles a little to fully accept herself as a lesbian, but the real challenge comes when she and Vanessa decide they want to use the frozen embryos leftover from Zoe and Max's many attempts to have a child. Zoe's since had a hysterectomy, but Vanessa's able to carry the child. There's just the small hurdle of getting Max to agree to letting them use the embryos. But Max is now part of an evangelical Christian church, one that is completely anti-gay everything, and before too long, both sides are involved in a bitter legal battle. Zoe and Vanessa want to use the embryos to have a child of their own (and let Max be involved with the child however he wants); Max wants to give them to his brother and wife, who have also struggled with infertility. Throw in a few blowhard preachers and asshole lawyers, and you've got another Trial of the Century.

This is a pretty emotional book. It's the first Picoult book I didn't totally hate the ending. I won't give away any spoilers, but I felt that it was kind of unrealistic. Max was a pushover throughout so much of the book; I couldn't see him acting the way he did at the end. I would've liked to see more of Liddy's transformation, too, or maybe I just missed that she wasn't quite as deep into her church's viewpoint as her husband.

Not a bad read, but the scenes where Zoe's baby is stillborn are really gutwrenching.

Full Dark, No Stars- Stephen King

2011-08-03T12:58:00.003-05:00

#84. Full Dark, No Stars- Stephen King

I was first introduced to Stephen King when I was about 9 or 10. My mom had a copy of Skeleton Crew in the closet, and I pulled it out and read quite a few of the stories (I was a fairly precocious reader, and my mom never censored what I read. Fortunately, I wasn't overly sensitive). For my 10th Christmas, I asked for and received a copy of It (along with a PreComputer100; I learned to type 80 wpm on that thing during Christmas vacation while Pennywise leered at me from the cover of my new book). I didn't actually read It in its entirety until I was 13, but afterwards, I was hooked. I haven't read all of King's books, but I've read most of them, and I definitely have my favorites. It. The Stand (one of the reasons my son is named Stuart; I fell in love with the character of Stu Redman). Rose Madder. I'm definitely a Stephen King fan.

Full Dark, No Stars is a collection of four long stories (like Four Past Midnight and Different Seasons). The stories are twisted and sinister in the way only King can do. My favorite was probably the first one, "1922," about a man who murders his wife...but encourages his son to join in on the deed, and then everything in their lives just goes to pot afterwards. If you're sensitive to such things, "Big Driver" deals with abduction and rape. "A Good Marriage" was just downright spooky: a woman discovers that the man she's been married to all these years isn't quite whom she expected, and "Fair Extension" taps into man's desperation to prolong life, even at the expense of others. Creepy, creepy stuff, man.

What I love most about King's writing is his style. In interviews and essay-style writing, he's said that his goal as a writer is to tell the truth. "Don't bullshit your readers," I remember hearing him say, and he doesn't. He tells his characters' truths. They may not be my truths, or yours, but they belong to the character, and that's what makes the stories work. They may be gory, they may be gruesome, but they're never gratuitous (that's one of the reasons I hesitate to read any more of Pat Conroy; he's an amazing writer, but all of the books I've read by him have contained brutal, violent rape scenes that turned my stomach and were incredibly difficult to read). I also really enjoy King's way with words, too; he has such a natural cadence to his writing. It's real, and no matter how creepy it is, I'm drawn to it.

Lots of great words in this book.

Words:

ineluctable- adj- incapable of being invaded, inescapable. (I like this word. I've already been using it in daily life!)

ratiocination- n- the process of logical reasoning.

depredation- n- the act of preying upon or plundering, robbery, ravage.

eldritch- adj- eerie, weird, spooky.

immure- to enclose within walls; to shut in, seclude or confine; to imprison.

swain- n- a male admirer or lover; a country lad; a country gallant.

hectograph- n- a process for making copies of a letter, memorandum, etc., from a prepared gelatin surface to which the original writing has been transferred; a machine for making such copies.

cozen- v- to cheat, deceive, or trick.

prurient- adj- having, inclined to have, or characterized by lascivious or lustful thoughts, desires, etc.; causing lasciviousness or lust; having a restless desire or longing.

pyorrhea- n- (Pathology) a discharge of pus; Rigg's Disease (Dentistry) a chronic form of periodontitis occurring in various degrees of severity, characterized in its severe forms by the formation of pus in the pockets between the roots of the teeth and their surrounding tissues, and frequently accompanied by the loosening and subsequent loss of the teeth. (As someone with a severe dental phobia, this makes me want to weep. Also, if you've googled this term and come to my blog like a bunch of people did with the vocabulary word 'podagra,' which is a foot condition, you have my sympathies, but you're in the wrong place.)

propinquity- n- nearness in place, proximity; nearness of relation, kinship; affinity of nature, similarity.

There is now a Level Zero.

2011-07-13T16:43:00.004-05:00

Two points if you recognize that quote. It's from one of our favorite movies around this house. :)

So. My back.

Not so good.

The weekend of July 4th was pretty awful, in terms of pain. That Saturday, we went out to eat at a local chain restaurant. I was already having some trouble walking- there was a significant amount of pain, but I could still get around without assistance. So we get to the restaurant, I grab my cup, and limp over to the drinks dispenser. I fill up my cup, and OW. OW. OW.

You wouldn't think that there's much difference between an empty cup and a full cup, would you? There is. There really is. I could FEEL the difference in my lower right back muscles, and it HURT. How messed up is THAT? (Also, PLEASE TO HAVE MORE CAPS, BECAUSE I'M APPARENTLY CRAZY CAPS LADY TODAY. Thank you.)

I'd been icing my back constantly, but it just got worse. I had to start using my cane- I took it with me to see the fireworks on the 3rd- festive, right? And so on Tuesday, I called the doctor, and they got me in on Wednesday. Three prescriptions (Prednisone, Flexeril, and Celebrex), one order for physical therapy, and two hours waiting in Walmart (I was nearly in tears by the time we left) later, here I am.

The meds help. I finished the Prednisone yesterday, and that seems to have done the most to stop the pain. I'm guessing there was a significant amount of swelling like there was the last time I was on it, and for the most part (of course, more on this later), the overwhelming pain is gone. The Flexeril was fantastic for a few days in stopping the out-of-control muscle spasms. Holy Mother of God, those hurt. WHOA. I could've cracked walnuts with my back, no joke! :D And the Celebrex helped with the overall pain, except it only made me sleepy when I took it during the day. When I took it at night, I was still awake three hours later. Go figure. :D

I started physical therapy, and it's pretty awesome! My PT gave me some stretches to do. She agreed that my back is pretty gristly, lol, and she works on massaging out this very large knot in my...ahem...VERY VERY WAY LOWER right back. So, she and I talk about life and kids and pets, and she rubs my butt. Yup. It's a glamorous life, I know. :D She's actually really fantastic and I look forward to going every single time. This week, she gave me a few exercises to help strengthen my core, and I've been doing them faithfully every morning (and they help! This one in particular involves tensing my lower abdominal muscles, and I found that doing that mostly stops random muscle spasms! And if I tense those muscles while going down the stairs, I can move at a mostly normal pace!). (Stuart did them with me last night, which was adorable, and then later on, I was letting him watch some parkour and freerunning videos on my computer. One of the owners of a gym specifically for freerunning was explaining about the gym and how training there works your entire body and strengthens your core muscles. Stuart's eyes went all big, and he goes, "Mom! You'll be able to do parkour!" I laughed hysterically and replied, "No, I'll be able to walk." Big difference!)

But my big problem is pushing myself. I really, REALLY need to learn to sit the hell down and let myself heal. Yesterday was the best day I've had since before Stuart's birthday (which was June 22nd). I was able to go to Walmart and grab a few groceries with minimal pain, as well as do a few chores around the house, all without, you know, collapsing. Yay! But today, I tried to do a little more than I should, and I'm sitting on the couch now with shooting pain down my right leg again. *insert angry face here* So much for cleaning the kitchen; apparently, bending and lifting is still right out. Sigh. So here I sit, perched on a lovely block of icepack, contemplating hitting up the bottle of Celebrex and wondering if science has invented such a thing as the full-body transplant yet. Anyone? Yes?

So that's where I am right now, resting somewhat uncomfortably at Level Zero. I'm determined, though- maybe a little too determined, which is why I pushed myself a little too hard today. It's frustrating (and boring) to not be able to move normally, for stupid household tasks like putting dishes in the dishwasher to be next to impossible (at least without pain). I feel like I'm not pulling my weight around the house (and I'm not! Because pulling ANYTHING hurts, lol. OMG, I think I need a nap), and that makes me feel guilty. But I need to slow it down, because otherwise, I'm just going to stay in the same place. Rome wasn't built in a day, and whatever city I'm building, I need to focus on starting with my one single stone. At Level Zero.

Thin, Rich, Pretty- Beth Harbison

2011-07-13T16:35:00.004-05:00

#83. Thin, Rich, Pretty- Beth Harbison

I actually read this one a while ago, but I plowed through it so quickly that I didn't write it down in my notebook, and thus, didn't blog about it. I wonder how many other books that's happened to- I know I read one by a teacher at a Waldorf school back around 2006 that never made it to my master list of books for that year. Hmph.

Anyway, Thin, Rich, Pretty is narrated by three women who met as young teens at summer camp, all of whom feel they're missing out on one particular thing in life, as adults. Holly's love life is a mess; it'll be perfect and she'll get married when she loses weight! Nicola's acting career isn't where she wants it to be, but plastic surgery might fix everything. Lexi grew up rich and spoiled, but now that Stepmonster Undearest has inherited everything, she's penniless and on her own. The three characters are never all in the same place until the end, and everything works out a little toooooo nicely for my tastes, but this was a cute poolside read.

Starstruck- Michael Joseph Gross

2011-07-13T15:48:00.004-05:00

#82. Starstruck: When a Fan Gets Close To Fame- Michael Joseph Gross

I've always been fascinated by the concept of fame. Not necessarily by famous people, but by fame as its own animal. What exactly is it? What does it mean when so many people know who you are? What kind of effect does that have on your life, your personality, your outlook, and why does it affect people so differently? Those questions were why I picked up this book.

Michael Joseph Gross is a journalist who began amassing a huge collection of celebrity autographs as a young kid. Celebrity and fame intrigued him, and as an adult, he set out trying to understand what draws fans to celebrities, what makes them act the way they do, what they get out of being a fan.

Two quotes in particular really stuck out to me:

Something amazing about a person gets lodged in your heart, allowing a fan to see in a star what a lover sees in his beloved: an image of life's possibilities. p17

Isn't that true, though? We look at famous people, or the image we have of famous people, and see what we could be- that beautiful, that successful, that rich, that intelligent. Maybe the whole package. We see in them what we feel we lack, and some people hope that by meeting these celebrities, a little bit of that something will brush off on us. Another:

In love, you get to know a person and it usually doesn't last unless it's at least a little bit mutual. Fandom, on the other hand, is an escalating process of idealization, in which actual relationship is rare (and where it's found, is usually superficial)- an inequality of affection that, in most cases, only inflames the fan's desire. p17

For the most part, being a fan is idealization. You don't know that celebrity- you know random facts and what they choose to show the world. Unless it's a rare case of 'what you see is what you get,' then you see a product, packaged as a person. Maybe being a fan of a celebrity says something more about that fan than it does about the celebrity. Hmm.

I've been a fan- haven't we all? I'm definitely more the quiet, casual, admire-quietly-from-the-sidelines kind of fan, though. I don't need to stand out in the crowd, I don't want to be noticed or known or whatever. I'd rather not (I don't even really like commenting on Facebook fan pages; I 'like' things, but commenting makes me uncomfortable). Because part of being a fan is living with that idealization, that fantasy of who you think the celebrity is, and the reality never matches up. Because reality and fantasy never do, and that's okay. That's why fantasies are so much fun. :)

What really intrigued me in this book was the chapter on the Michael Jackson fandom. I have to wonder what happened to all his many ardent followers after his death, how they coped, if they're still sticking together, still supporting each other. In this chapter, Gross wades briefly into something that always never ceases to amaze me when it comes to fans- their justification of a celebrity's behavior. Fans will justify anything when it comes to their beloved, and that's the point where I start raising eyebrows at these people. The celebrity is professing a love for children? Sure, fine. The celebrity is dangling a child over a balcony? Um, no. That's not okay, and there's nothing about a person's career, wealth, or pop culture status that would ever make that okay. I think you can sometimes separate what a person does or creates from who a person is, but there are times when you really need to take a step back and say, "This isn't okay anymore and I can't support this."

And there's a huge difference between normal human behavior and out-of-control behavior. I've been a part of several fandoms over the years, and I always have to roll my eyes when people are all, "He/She was RUDE to a single fan? HOW DARE THEY." Dude, people have bad days. It happens. No one's going to be a Merry Sunshine every moment of every hour. Now, if the celebrities are rude to every single fan, or they're constantly driving drunk with coked-up hookers duct-taped in the trunk of the Beemer they stole from the producer of the movie they're working on, then there's a problem. Probably several, and those shouldn't be justified or blown off.

Anyway, this was an interesting little book about fans, celebrities, and the connections, superficial and real, that are forged between them. I don't know if it answered all my questions, but it definitely gave me a lot to think about.

Words:

ersatz- adj- serving as a substitute, synthetic, artificial.

urbane- adj- having the polish and suavity regarded as characteristic of sophisticated social life in major cities; reflecting elegance, sophistication, etc., especially in expression. (I thought I knew this one, but then I realized I was mixing it up with 'arcane,' so into my notebook it went, and now I know both!)

mendacious- adj- telling lies, especially habitually, dishonest, lying, untruthful; false or untrue.

perdurance- adj- long continuance. (Archaic.) (So how long does a word have to be out of general usage to be considered archaic? Anyone know? I'm going to have to look this up...)

Heart of the Matter- Emily Giffin

2011-07-13T15:33:00.003-05:00

#81. Heart of the Matter- Emily Giffin

Emily Giffin seems to write about cheating a lot. I'm curious as to why; what about the act of infidelity strikes such a chord in her? As a (wannabe) writer, I find myself approaching certain subjects over and over again, in different ways, trying to make sense of them and figure out what they mean to me, so I have to wonder why cheating with Ms. Giffin. But that's just me.

Tessa is a stay-at-home mom to two young children. She recently quit work to focus more on her family, but she's finding the domestic life not quite all she thought it would be. Her husband, Nick, is a busy doctor, a plastic surgeon, and Tessa is positive he'd never cheat on her. Across town, Valerie is a lawyer and a single mother. At a slumber party, her son Charlie is badly burned, and his subsequent surgeries place him under the care of Tessa's husband. You can guess where this one goes.

The structure of this interested me. It's a dual narrative; Tessa narrates in the first person, but Valerie's chapters are told in the third. Was that to give us some distance from Valerie? I'm not sure. I didn't care for this as much as some of Giffin's other works; I felt a little like there was too much justification for Valerie's actions, a little too much, "Oh, she's the sad, lonely single mom with no maaaaaaaaaan, how will she survive? And poor Charlie with no dad! He needs a dad! Why not take that dad?" I don't know. The ending came together a little too easily for me, as well, and maybe left me feeling a little uncomfortable and unsatisfied. If you're a Giffin fan, I wouldn't avoid it, but I didn't love it as much as, say, Something Borrowed.

Word:

celadon- n- any of several Chinese porcelain having a translucent, pale green glaze; any porcelain imitating these; a pale gray-green.

exculpate- v- to clear from a charge of guilt or fault, free from blame, vindicate.

syrah- n- a red grape grown in France and Australia, used, often in a blend, for making wine; any of various wines made from this grape.

Love the One You're With- Emily Giffin

2011-07-13T15:22:00.003-05:00

#80. Love the One You're With- Emily Giffin

Ellen and Andy have a great marriage, but Ellen's world gets all shook up (see that song title? See what I did there? Yeah, this is how I entertain myself. Sigh) when she runs into her old boyfriend, Leo. Leo was the one who got away, and seeing him again sets all those old butterflies in motion for Ellen. She's not happy about this- but she's not exactly going out of her way to avoid him, either. After Leo gets her a photography job, they reconnect- not quite physically, but in an emotional way that has Ellen feeling guilty and torn. She's trying her best to please Andy, even going so far as to leaving her beloved NYC for his hometown of Atlanta. But bending over backwards to please the one you love and not getting what you need/want in return can lead to resentment, hurt...and Leo.

Ellen's got some hard choices to make, but when she finally realizes what she needs, will it be too late?

Tense novel. Very tense. As a reader, I thought it was obvious who Ellen should choose, and a few times I wanted to slap her silly (mostly because I loved that guy so much, and thought the other was no good). Love the One You're With resolves very sweetly, and it made for a pleasant weekend read.

Half the Sky- Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

2011-07-13T14:51:00.003-05:00

#79. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide- Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

The title of this book comes from the oft-ignored Chinese saying about how women hold up half the sky. Sadly, the sky is sagging in many places, because the treatment of women and girls around the world is fairly deplorable. It's not without hope, but the statistics and anecdotes in this book are pretty shocking. Bride burning. Acid attacks. Female genital cutting. Forced prostitution. Rape. Physical abuse. Denying girls food, medicine, education, simply because they're female. Aborting and abandoning female babies. Check out some of these quotes:

More girls have been killed in the last fifty years, precisely because they were girls, than men were killed in all the wars of the twentieth century. p14

Surveys suggest that about one-third of all women worldwide face beatings in the home. Women aged fifteen through forty-four are more likely to be maimed or die from male violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined. p74

During World War I, more American women died in childbirth than American men died in war. p126

These statistics stun me. I'm sitting in front of my computer, staring at the screen, just shocked and wondering why there's not more outrage about this kind of stuff, and why, if women speak up, we're looked at as hairy-legged bra-burners. Why aren't we allowed to express outrage and demand answers? (Just so you know, less than one percent of US foreign aid is targeted to programs that aid women and girls, as page twelve points out. Food for thought, although that tastes kind of bitter, too.)

When anesthesia was developed, it was for many decades routinely withheld from women giving birth, since women were "supposed" to suffer. p127

Of course.

This is really a shocking, eye-opening book. Kristof and WuDunn detail the plight of many women around the world, women who face such monumental struggles. It just floors me that in this day and age, women are still so very written off in so many ways, in every single culture. There are some solutions though, or at least a start. Kristof and WuDunn offer up ideas, strategies, and charities and aid groups who are working diligently to make a difference in so many places, on so many issues. Fistula hospitals. Microcredit. Organizations who help stop human trafficking. Here's a sample:

http://www.prajwalaindia.org

http://www.healafrica.org

http://www.worldwidefistulafund.org

http://www.34millionfriends.org

http://www.kiva.org

http://www.girlslearninternational.org

Such an important book. It's not easy to read, but it's one that needs to be read. Read, and think, and help.

Women might just have something to contribute to civilization other than their vaginas." -Christopher Buckley, Florence of Arabia

Twenties Girl- Sophie Kinsella

2011-07-13T14:28:00.005-05:00

#78. Twenties Girl- Sophie Kinsella

I stumbled around the library a few weeks ago, desperate for something lightish to read. Sometimes you just want something to relax into, to make you laugh, you know? I was a little wary about this one- I do enjoy Sophie Kinsella, but a ghost story? I'm not much for paranormal stuff, but I figured what the hell, I'd give it a whirl.

The novel starts off with Lara Lington attending the funeral of her great-aunt Sophie. She never met Sophie, and none of the family seems to know that much about her- seems she spent the last twenty or so years moldering away in a nursing home with no visitors. Kind of tragic. But then Great Aunt Sophie, in ghost form, begins squawking away behind Lara, something about a lost necklace, and Lara is the only one who can hear or see her. She's freaked, but Sophie won't be ignored. She's demanding and opinionated, and, well, why not help her? It's not like Lara has anything better to do. The company she started with her best friend is tanking (because the best friend ditched her for a tropical paradise and a hot guy on the beach), her boyfriend recently dumped her (but he still loves her, she just knows it!)...Lara and Sophie team up to track down the missing necklace, but Lara discovers so much more than jewelry along the way. Family history, family secrets, lies, deception...and maybe even love.

This turned out to be really cute. I didn't much care for Lara (or Sophie) in the beginning, to be honest. What kept me engaged with the story was the history. Sophie speaks wistfully of her past, of dancing the Charleston, speakeasies, and "barney-mugging," and that gave the story such a distinct charm that I was fully drawn in. Lara grows as a character, thanks to her dealings with Sophie, and she becomes a lot more tolerable (as does Sophie, especially as they figure out how to work together). I'm glad I gave this the chance.

Word:

valpolicella- n- a dry, red table wine from the Veneto region of Northern Italy. (In one of those fun synchronicity moments, we went to a local Italian restaurant this past Saturday, and valpolicella was on the menu. Fun!)

Baby Proof- Emily Giffin

2011-07-13T14:20:00.003-05:00

#77. Baby Proof- Emily Giffin

Claudia and Ben have a great marriage, probably as close to perfect as anyone could hope for. They're young, successful professionals, living it up in New York, focusing on their careers and each other, especially since neither of them want kids. Why would anyone want kids? You have to rearrange your whole entire life around them, and neither Claudia nor Ben wants that.

But a few years into their marriage, Ben starts to reconsider his decision, and this opens such a cavernous gulf between the two of them that there's just no going back. Goodbye to Claudia-and-Ben. Hello, single girl.

Baby Proof is Claudia's story, of how she navigates her newly single life, lives with the consequences of her decisions, and re-examines everything she thought she wanted. It's emotional, painful, sad...and ultimately hopeful. I love how the city of New York is so present in Giffin's books. She's one of those writers who is so fully engaged with her setting and loves it so much that it turns the city into a character all its own. That adds so much to her books (which I already enjoy!). A quick read.

Summer!

2011-07-01T14:03:00.003-05:00

PHEW.

Holy massive update, Batman. Sorry for my absence! It's been a whirlwind of activity around here lately. We finished up homeschooling for the year, and Stuart's going to go to public school next year for the first time. I'm a little burned out and in need of a change, so I'm heading back to school myself. I'm very much looking forward to it. We're both a little nervous, but I think we'll be fine.

I've also been doing a little writing. And by little, I mean I wrote 27,000 words between May 13th and June 13th, which is a monthly record for me. I'll need to do a lot of editing to make those words pretty and readable, but hey, you can't edit what you haven't written, right? My story is almost up to 38,000 words right now, so I'm keeping at it, slowly (it feels like that!) but surely. I tend to not read quite as much when I'm writing, and I've been so focused on writing that this blog fell to the wayside a little. Boo on that, but hopefully I'll be able to keep it up a little better now.

What else have I been doing? You've heard me talk about all my books being in the garage, still in boxes from the move. Well, no more! *insert maniacal cackling* My husband went on a business trip last week, and I decided I was going to do a project while he was gone. I'd already bought two ready-to-assemble bookshelves; they were sitting in the garage, just waiting for me to get ready to assemble them. So Stuart and I went out, bought one more, hauled it home, and spent an entire evening assembling all three of them.

First off, OMG OW MY BACK. I have degenerative disc disease, and I have to be really careful as to how I move. Regular bending, such as the bending you need to do to, say, empty the dishwasher, is painful and at times impossible for me; I have a hard time picking stuff up off the floor some days, and I live in terror of falling into the open oven when I take dinner out. Each box of ready-to-assemble shelves weighs 60 pounds. So I shoved 180 pounds of bookshelves out of the garage, through the kitchen, through the dining room, through the living room, up 16 stairs, and into our spare room. Yeah. And then two nights later, I repeated it all with my 30+ boxes of books from the garage.

Yeah. I'm paying for it. Or at least I did yesterday. I had a hard time walking most of yesterday and was plagued by muscle spasms in my lower back, which led to this really bizarre muscle spasm in my foot, where my big toe would start twitching all by itself, apropos of nothing. Freaky!

But I'm feeling better today, movement is mostly back to normal, or at least, what counts as normal for me, and I am so hugely in love with my library (which is how we refer to the spare room). It's GLORIOUS. Three five-shelf bookshelves, all filled, many shelves double-stacked...It's a book-lover's dream. I've borrowed my son's beanbag chair and plopped that down in the middle of the room, and now, when I sit in it and read and write, I feel like I'm in a bookstore. It's fantastic, and that's now my favorite room in the whole house. I'll post pictures someday soon so you can see how awesome it is. I have my own personal library!!!!!

So that's what I've been up to lately. A little bit of reading, a lot of writing, taking my son to the pool (those awful chairs there do NOT help my back), signing up for classes, building bookshelves, and hauling copious amounts of books throughout the house. It's been a busy summer so far!

I'm going to leave you with a video my son and I have watched countless numbers of times. It's at the Tempest Freerunning Academy in Chatsworth, California. The way these people move is nothing short of amazing, check it out!

Something Borrowed- Emily Giffin

2011-07-01T13:51:00.003-05:00

#76. Something Borrowed- Emily Giffin

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh. I loved this. LOVED this.

I've seen Emily Giffin's books around for years, but I've never read one. Why? Right now, I have no freaking clue, because I absolutely adored this book, and I was left wanting to dress all in black, break into Emily's house, steal her computer, and spend the rest of my life reading everything she's ever written. That's how much I enjoyed this. (I know, I need a life.)

Whoever thought a book about cheating could be so damn captivating? Rachel takes up with her best friend Darcy's man, Dex. It's nothing something either of them planned on, and Rachel was ready to forget it ever happened after the first time, but Dex won't let it go, and Rachel finally gives into her feelings. Darcy is a borderline stereotypical character- she's bitchy, she's spoiled, she constantly says hurtful things and blows them off as speaking the truth- but she has just enough depth to work. Rachel's unsure of herself, awkward, lacking self-confidence- in short, she's Everygirl. And I loved how this novel tackles the gray areas in life- what do we owe our friends? What if those friends aren't as good of friends as we once thought? What do we owe ourselves? Is cheating always wrong?

I love Giffin's style. I love her sense of humor, the way she puts words together, the way her story flows, the way she sets up a scene so perfectly. I'm about halfway through Baby Proof right now, and I'm going to be scouring the library tomorrow (we go every Saturday) for everything else they have by her. I love chick lit (I know there's some controversy about that phrase, but I don't find it disrespectful or scornful; I think it classifies a certain genre of books that deal with lively female characters, a lively plot, and that are written with a sense of humor. I love authors that can make me laugh, and great chick lit always does), and when I find an author I like in this genre, I want everything by her. I may not love it all, but I still want to read it all.

Have you read Something Borrowed? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd also love any suggestions on authors like Emily Giffin. :)

Short Shorts- edited by Irving Howe and Ilana Wiener Howe

2011-07-01T13:36:00.003-05:00

#75. Short Shorts- edited by Irving Howe and Ilana Wiener Howe

I don't really like short stories.

I never have. I've enjoyed a few (I love Poe; I like de Maupassant's 'The Necklace'; Shirley Jackson's 'The Lottery' is pure brilliance), but for the most part, I find that they kind of trail off toward the end and don't come to any specific conclusion. That was once again the case with most of the stories in this book (there were a few I enjoyed, but a very, very small few). I was left scratching my head and going, "So?" The stories are just too short to get me caring about the characters, and nothing wraps up well in the end. What's the point if you're not going to come to a conclusion? Why bother with the story if your character doesn't solve her problem and instead just turns around and goes outside to garden or whatever? Why bother at all?

This has been sitting on my shelf for years, and I figured, hey, why not read it? So I did, and I was again disappointed by the short story. I'll keep trying, though, because I *want* to love them. I want to be all, "YAY SHORT STORIES ARE AMAZINGZORS!!11!!!!!" Okay, maybe not quite that enthusiastic, but I'd like to be able to appreciate them more than I do. Maybe one day.

Words:

expropriate- v- to take possession of, especially for public use by the right of eminent domain, thus divesting the title of the private owner; to dispossess (a person) of ownership; to take (something) from another's possession for one's own use.

cretonne- n- a heavy cotton material in colorfully printed designs, used especially for drapery and slipcovers.

torpid- adj- inactive or sluggish; slow, dull, apathetic, lethargic; dormant, as in a hibernating or estivating animal.

welter- n- a confused mass, a jumble or muddle; a state of commotion, turmoil or upheaval; a rolling, tossing or tumbling about.

verst- n- a Russian measure of distance equivalent to 3500 feet or 0.6629 mile or 1.067 kilometers.

photogravure- n- any of various processes, based on photography, by which an intaglio engraving is formed on a metal plate, from which ink reproductions are made; the plate; a print made from it.

claque- n- a group of persons hired to applaud an act or performer; a group of sycophants.

I Want to Be Left Behind- Brenda Peterson

2011-07-01T13:22:00.004-05:00

#74. I Want to Be Left Behind: Finding Rapture Here on Earth- Brenda Peterson

Brenda Peterson grew up in an evangelical Christian household, the daughter of a forest ranger. Her parents moved frequently for her father's job, and the family subscribed to the religious doctrine that states that Christians will be raptured in the end times, and all others will be left behind. The Rapture never sits well with Brenda, and from an early age, she's branded as the family rebel. As she grows and learns more about life and religion, Brenda finds her own version of peace and worship in the beauty of nature, and luckily for her, she's able to strike a balance with her family in regards to her beliefs or lack thereof.

Lots of interesting family dynamics in this one. I really enjoyed it due to its, "This is my experience of religion" feel. She doesn't judge her family or friends for their beliefs (even though she's often judged for hers), and she doesn't make excuses for what she believes. She simply states how she was raised, what it was like, and how it changed her, for better or worse. It is what it is, and Brenda seems quite at peace with her place in this world, no matter what her family thinks. I liked that.

I was expecting the book to be heavier on nature and environmental stuff, and it wasn't (which pleased me. I don't like long passages of description, nor do I enjoy being preached at, on any subject, so yay!). She's simply a nature lover and writes beautifully of that love. The parallels between evangelical Christianity and hardcore environmentalism, though, are a little shocking, but I suppose that could be applied to any fierce beliefs, in that they all use the same pushy fear tactics to bring people over to their side. Definitely something to think about!

The Center of Everything- Laura Moriarty

2011-07-01T13:09:00.003-05:00

#73. The Center of Everything- Laura Moriarty

Evelyn Bucknow is the illegitimate daughter of a chronically unemployed woman who is really struggling through life. At the start of the novel, Evelyn is young, trying to understand her place in the world. Her mother, Tina, became pregnant at a young age, and the father never stuck around. Tina's father apparently disowned her- there's a heart-wrenching scene near the beginning where father and daughter attempt to reunite, but the father can't let the past die, and Tina (rightfully, I thought) refuses to let his slurs slide. Evelyn's intelligent, hardworking, but she longs for acceptance, while Tina struggles to make ends meet and goes on making bad decisions (or were they? I questioned her motives from time to time and often wondered if her choices weren't made in order to get ahead by any means necessary). She takes up with a married man and finds herself yet again, a single mother.

Evelyn never really questions her mother's failures, she just accepts them as her reality and squares her shoulders, but you get the feeling that she views her mother as her personal example of 'how not to.' This is a wistful coming-of-age story. Evelyn searches for her own path, flounders a little, dabbles in different ways to find meaning, but ultimately realizes that she must blaze her own path into the future, even if it means leaving behind those she loves. This was lovely, along with being difficult to review- Evelyn's a bystander to much of the plot, watching as events unfold around her. But she's still strong, at times unwavering. There are some really bittersweet scenes dealing with one of her friends and how things turn out for her, and Evelyn struggles with her feelings in regards to this. Beautiful writing, and I'm curious about the author's other books now. :)

We're Just Like You, Only Prettier- Celia Rivenbark

2011-07-01T12:58:00.003-05:00

#72. We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle- Celia Rivenbark

This came from the box of books a friend gave me this winter. It's probably not something I would've picked up on my own, but I'm glad I did. Celia Rivenbark is an absolute scream.

Rivenbark is a columnist, and she's got a crazy, wild, self-deprecating sense of humor with a uniquely Southern flair. Waxing poetic on such topics as Southern food, preschool, hair and nails, clothing, family get-togethers, aging, and what other mothers must think of her, she'll have you rolling on the floor and choking with laughter. I loved her horror at how her daughter told the truth about what high-fructose-corn-syrup delight Celia served for breakfast, when she was sure that every other mother had served organic, hand-harvested-by-fairies-and-gnomes oatmeal with organic milk (from hand-massaged cows, of course) and organic, sparkle-filled blueberries (you get the drift), her disdain for all things crafty, her panic at how her husband dresses her child...It's parenting, family, and life, all with a humorous Southern twist. Check her out if you need a laugh (and if you're tired of measuring yourself up to everyone else and coming up short), because Rivenbark will not disappoint.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Shakespeare- Laurie E. Rozakis

2011-07-01T12:42:00.004-05:00

#71. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Shakespeare- Laurie Rozakis

Another book I pulled from the horrors of my garage library (more on that in a later post; I've been busy!). I'm going back to school in the fall as an English major, so what better time to brush up on my Shakespeare than when I'm sitting by the pool? (Pretty sure I was the only person reading Shakespeare at the pool. That's how I roll.)

I had an English teacher in high school who loved Shakespeare, and his enthusiasm was contagious. But over the years, that enthusiasm wore away, and I became more and more intimidated by the Bard, to the point where I actually kind of feared having to study his plays when I went back to college. But no fear was necessary. If anything, this book taught me that Shakespeare's words...are just words. And words can be figured out, interpreted, learned, and appreciated. And I've rediscovered my previous enjoyment of Shakespeare's work through this book.

Rozakis starts off with a biography of Shakespeare, what we know, anyway. She discusses his life and times, the history of the Renaissance, the troubles of the English throne, and the changes that were taking place in the English language both before and after Shakespeare's life. After she sets the stage with all the historical context we need to know, she dissects his plays one by one. There are rundowns of each character, plot, discussions of the bits of dialogue that are the turning points in each play, and excerpts of scenes that are especially beautiful or well-known. There's a section on Shakespearean sonnets, and one on his longer poems. If you need help understanding what's going on in a particular play, this is definitely a great resource to get you started in the right direction. This book will live on my shelf for the rest of my life, I think, right next to my hardback copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. I no longer fear the Bard, and now I actually hope I have a chance to take a Shakespeare class one day. So glad I decided to take the plunge!

Words:

hautboy- n- oboe.

cittern- n- an old musical instrument related to the guitar, having a flat, pear-shaped soundbox and wire strings. (Also, cithern.)

primogeniture- n- the state or fact of being the firstborn of children of the same parents; (Law) the system of inheritance or succession by the firstborn; specifically the eldest son.

beggary- n- a state or condition of utter poverty; beggars collectively; a place lived in or frequented by beggars.

legate- n- an ecclesiastic delegated by the pope as his representative.

wastrel- n- a wasteful person, spendthrift; (Chiefly British) refuse, waste; a waif, abandoned child; an idler or good for nothing.

profligate- n- utterly and shamelessly immoral or dissipated, thoroughly dissolute; recklessly prodigal or extravagant.

avouch- v- to make frank acknowledgment or affirmation of, declare or assert with positiveness; to assume responsibility for, vouch for, guarantee; to admit, confess.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil- John Berendt

2011-07-01T12:20:00.003-05:00

#70. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil- John Berendt

John Berendt, a New York journalist, fell in love with Savannah, Georgia, and became a part-time resident, making his way into Savannah society and rubbing elbows with the most high-powered and eccentric members. A murder in the home of one of the city's most famed residents provides the catalyst for the novel, and Berendt reports on it all, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the tender white underbelly.

The city of Savannah is as much a character in this work of non-fiction (I suppose this could fall under the category of narrative non-fiction; it reads like one hell of a novel). It has a personality all its own and colors everything about the story and the characters who appear in it. This just wouldn't be the same book if it took place in Poduck, Kansas, or even New York City. The story is what it is and the characters are who they are because they live in Savannah. It's amazing how setting makes so much of a difference sometimes.

John Berendt's writing is lively, beautiful, and descriptive. You'll tear through the pages as quickly as possible, ignoring your family and friends, because you won't want to put this down. This sat on my shelf for years; I'd always wanted to read it but never got around to it. But sometime in early June, maybe late May, I was searching through my boxes of books in the garage for something to read. This was on top, so I grabbed it, and after the first page, I was hooked, big time. I haven't seen the movie, but I'd like to, now that I've read the book. Any opinions on that?

If you like narrative non-fiction, don't miss this. It spent 216 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and with good reason. It's beautiful, entertaining, intriguing, and tragic. Berendt has a book about Venice, The City of Falling Angels, and I loved Midnight so much that I'm going to have to keep an eye out for that one, too.

Words:

provenance- n- place or source of origin.

cabochon- n- a precious stone of convex hemispherical or oval form, polished but not cut into facets; an ornamental motif resembling this, either concave or convex and often surrounded by ornately carved leaf patterns, used on furniture of the 18th century.

paillard- n- a scallop, especially of veal or chicken, that is pounded flat and grilled or sauteed quickly.

indolent- adj- having or showing a disposition to avoid exertion, slothful.

parterre- n- (also called parquet circle), the rear section of seats, and sometimes also the side sections, of the main floor of a theater, concert hall, or opera house; an ornamental arrangement of flower beds of different shapes and sizes.

epicure- n- a person who cultivates a refined taste, especially in food and wine, a connoisseur.

periwig- n- a wig, especially a peruke.

acrimonious- adj- caustic, stinging, or bitter in nature, speech, behavior, etc.

peremptory- adj- leaving no opportunity for denial or refusal, imperative; imperious or dictatorial; positive or assertive in speech, tone, manner, etc.

prospectus- n- a document describing the major features of a proposed literary work, project, business venture, etc., in enough detail so that prospective investors, participants, or buyers may evaluate it; a brochure or other document describing the major features, attractions, or services of a place, institution, or business to prospective patrons, clients, owners, or members.

plebiscite- n- a direct vote of the qualified voters of a state in regard to some important public question; the vote by which the people of a political unit determine autonomy or affiliation with another country.

suborn- v- to bribe or induce (someone) unlawfully or secretly to perform some misdeed or to commit a crime.

delectation- n- delight, enjoyment.

scofflaw- n- a person who flouts the law, especially one who fails to pay fines owed; a person who flouts rules, conventions, or accepted practices.

Harvesting the Heart- Jodi Picoult

2011-07-01T12:10:00.003-05:00

#69. Harvesting the Heart- Jodi Picoult

Picoult's second novel. Grabbed it on a whim at the library when I was all out of stuff to read.

Paige's mother walks out on her and her father when Paige is five, leaving the young girl with an overwhelming sense of loss, the inability to trust anyone, including herself, and a huge empty space where her self-worth is supposed to be. As a young adult, Paige takes up with Nicholas, a wealthy, WASP-y med student whose parents definitely do not approve of his choice in girlfriends. The couple marries and Paige works as a waitress to support Nicholas after his parents cut him off.

The real drama starts when Paige gets pregnant. She's ambivalent about it, questioning her ability to mother when she never had a mother of her own, at least not when it counted. Nicholas assumes everything will be fine, but Paige can't stand it. When Max is several months old, she walks, running off to find the mother who walked out on her, but really trying to find herself. And you can guess how well Nicholas takes that.

I felt let down by the ending, and overall, I was really underwhelmed by this. Paige kind of irritated me as a character; she was a little whiny and angsty and immature. Nicholas's parents seemed to go from assholes to people-with-all-the-answers in .000000000043 seconds, and I don't think Nicholas could've been more obtuse. Not one of my favorites of Picoult's, but I'll still keep reading her. :)

Words:

peplum- n- the short full flounce or an extension of a garment below the waist, covering the hips; a short skirt attached to a bodice or jacket.

cosh- n- a blackjack a bludgeon.

Barefoot- Elin Hilderbrand

2011-07-01T11:57:00.004-05:00

#68. Barefoot- Elin Hilderbrand

It's summer, and three women are sharing a house on Nantucket. A small house, one that's been in the family for ages, and they're all wondering if the walls can contain all the problems they're bringing with.

Melanie's husband is cheating on her, something she's only recently discovered, even though they've been going through round after round of in vitro fertilization attempts, all of them unsuccessful. And of course, now that their relationship is up in the air, Melanie discovers she's pregnant. Not the best timing.

Brenda's an English professor- or was, before she was fired due to an inappropriate relationship with a student (who is older than she) and accidentally damaging a Jackson Pollock painting when she threw something in a fit of rage after being confronted by her boss and some smug students. Brenda's got legal troubles, relationship troubles, family troubles...She's just troubled, period.

Vickie has cancer. Lung cancer, to be exact, and she's terrified. Not just of dying, but of leaving her two young sons behind. (Fair warning: if you're grieving, have post-partum depression, or are struggling emotionally in any way, Vickie's narrations are really difficult to read. I teared up quite a few times reading her lamentations. Hilderbrand does an amazing job at putting Vickie's fear into words.) She's trying to be strong, but it's definitely not an easy task.

All of this drama is witnessed by Josh, a college student who becomes a male nanny for Vickie's two boys during this tumultuous summer. There is, of course, romance involved, because what's a good summer beach read without a good summer romance? This is a really sweet story with some hardcore emotional depth to it. Read it by the pool or under your beach umbrella, but save a corner of your towel to dry your tears, because they WILL make an appearance. Two thumbs up from me.

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame- Victor Hugo

2011-07-01T11:33:00.003-05:00

#67. The Hunchback of Notre-Dame- Victor Hugo

Whoa.

This is one of the weirdest classics I've ever read.

First off, there's a review on Goodreads that sums my feelings up perfectly, so allow me to quote that. (Pj, you are a genius!)

"A Classic".... I hate when I see this title attached to a book, it makes me think there's something wrong with me if I don't like it. Victor Hugo is a great author but I'm convinced he was paid by the word and very hungry when he wrote this. I had to drag myself through 3 chapters (in different places) that had practically no purpose. They didn't further the story or give background to an important character (or even a minor character) I'm not sure why Hugo felt it necessary to describe Paris street by street if he wasn't going to make the knowledge integral to the plot and I have even stronger feelings about his 30+ page description of the cathedral. I don't know if it was really necessary or even productive to tell me how each window is different in style, composition and artistic value. I don't really care how each pillar developed and was built over the decades it took to build. I understand Hugo is painting a picture but does the canvas need to be so big? The only productive part of these chapters was the chance it gave me to brush up on my skimming skills. (Tolkein is also a very useful author for this purpose).
Once Hugo began telling me a story I was very happy with his style and the plot development. I don't know if I was supposed to like the poet the most but he was my favorite character even if his adoration of Esmerelda's goat bordered on the creepy.
All in all a good book, I recommend it.

Yeah. So. This was a read-aloud, and those chapters that were 30+ pages of nothing but description? Brutal. One of them took an hour and a half to get through (not exaggerating. Poor Stuart was dying on the front porch as we struggled to get through this), and at one point, Stuart stopped and asked me if Victor Hugo was filibustering. (I love my kid. He's so awesome.) That's what it felt like. Like Pj there, I get that Hugo was trying to paint us a lovely picture of Paris, but really, he could've stood to shut the hell up a little. Just a little.

And in this novel, I was introduced to Claude Frollo, who has to be one of the creepiest characters I've ever met in all of literature (Stephen King would do well to base a character off of him). At one point, Frollo is ranting at Esmeralda, "Please, I love you! I just want to watch you while you sleep! What's so wrong about that?" and I was like, "Um, that's CREEPY." And of course, he gets all, "If I can't have you, NO ONE WILL!", which doesn't help matters. The best part, I thought, is what Gringoire does at the end (Stuart and I laughed and laughed, even though it was kind of disturbing).

For me, this was just really strange, and not entirely enjoyable. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it, either. It wasn't until we hit the first filibuster-like chapter that I recalled reading 400+ pages of Les Miserables in high school and being turned off by Hugo's filibustering style; I think I tripped up on one of his diatribes on Napoleon back then, only to put the book down and never pick it back up. One day, one day. And I find it interesting that the actual title, the French title, of this book is Notre Dame de Paris, a more accurate title than The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The English title is misleading, I think; Quasimodo isn't really that big of a character, more of a minor one.

I'm not sorry to have read it, but I'm glad it's done. :) No words, because it was a read-aloud from my nook (and I don't want to stop every three seconds to write down words with which I'm not familiar, you know? No sense in interrupting the flow of the story).

Have you read this? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

My Jesus Year- Benyamin Cohen

2011-07-01T11:15:00.004-05:00

#66. My Jesus Year: A Rabbi's Son Wanders the Bible Belt In Search of His Own Faith- Benyamin Cohen

Benyamin Cohen grew up in Georgia, an Orthodox Jew and the son of a Rabbi (at one point, they even had a synagogue attached to their house). He always had a curious attraction to Christianity, borne by being raised in a culture that kind of shoves it down your throat at times and growing up across the street from a church, and as an adult, he realizes that he's not finding the answers to his deep questions in Judaism, nor is he finding the satisfaction he craves. So he sets off to explore all facets of Christianity- not to convert, that's not at all his intention, but to explore another faith in the hopes of finding what connects him to his own.

Cohen takes an entire year and participates in Christianity as an outsider on the inside. He attends evangelical churches, churches with full-out gospel choirs, Catholic churches, Christian wrestling matches (yes, really); he speaks with Mormons, he visits churches on Christmas and Easter (all while still fully participating in the often-demanding daily rituals and holidays of Orthodox Judaism). And along the way, he finds that Judaism could learn a thing or two about enthusiasm, but that it does indeed have the answers he wanted. He just had to find a new way to look for them.

If you enjoyed AJ Jacobs' The Year of Living Biblically, this is right up your alley. Cohen is funny, and I found myself laughing out loud quite a few times. Fascinating stuff, and I think it would appeal to both religious and non-religious readers. You don't have to be a believer in order to enjoy Cohen's search.

My favorite quote came from page 126, and it's something that rings true for any religion:

Faith and fear may go hand in hand, but that can't be the standard way to get kids excited about their religion. Children raised that way will never be religious because they want to, but only because they have to. Scare tactics may work initially, but they will only foster the development of religiously dysfunctional adults who are too crippled to cope with the many shades of gray that accompany true faith. Is that what God desires?

A quote like that should be in full view at all times in every house of worship, religious education center, and every religious school.

Word:

peripatetic- adj- going from place to place.

Misquoting Jesus- Bart D. Ehrman

2011-07-01T10:44:00.005-05:00

#65. Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why- Bart D. Ehrman

Bart Ehrman used to be an evangelical Christian. He even went to Moody Bible Institute and Wheaton College, following that up with graduating with a PhD and Master's of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary. But what he learned along the way changed everything.

Biblical texts are riddled with issues and controversies. At the time these texts were being written, very few people could actually read. (Ehrman even quotes statistics that at the height of the classical period in Athens, a time and place we think of as being full of deep thinkers and amazing new ideas, literacy rates were somewhere around 10-15%. Not high. 85-90% of the population was illiterate. Think about that.) And even scribes didn't have to be functionally literate, they just had to be able to copy writing from one scroll to another. They didn't need to understand what they were writing. Now, imagine what kind of mess you'd make if you had to copy, say, Russian, Chinese, or Hebrew, all without understanding what you were copying. There would be mistakes and variations between texts, wouldn't there? Just like there are in the copies of the books of the Bible. Ehrman says that today, scholars argue that there are between 200,000 to 400,000 errors, changes, and variations between manuscripts. On page 90, he says, "There are more variations among our manuscripts than there are words in the New Testament." Heavy stuff.

At one point, he talks about the way scribes wrote. In some manuscripts, there are no spaces between words, no punctuation, and he gives us some example sentences that might cause problems today, such as:

godisnowhere

Is God now here, or is He nowhere?

lastnightatdinnerisawabundanceonthetable

Did I see a table bursting with food, or did I see something that would be better suited to a cartoon? See how this style of writing would cause problems?

Misquoting Jesus can get a little dry at times, a little academic, but it's worth the read if you're interested in religion and history. If you want to believe the Bible is inerrant and unchanging, this is definitely not the book for you, but if you're curious as to how the Bible evolved from handwritten scrolls to the mass-produced texts of today (although, be warned, this book has nothing to do on how or why the books that ended up in the Bible got there; that's a whole different book!), this is definitely an eye-opener.

Words:

plenary- adj- full, complete, entire, absolute, unqualified; attended by all qualified members.

picayune- adj- of little value or account, small, trifling.

countermand- v- to revoke or cancel (a command or order, etc.); to recall or stop by a contrary trade.

mountebank- n- a person who sells quack medicines, as from a platform in public places, attracting and influencing an audience by tricks, storytelling, etc.; any charlatan or quack.

diaconate- n- the office or dignity of a deacon; a body of deacons.

vicissitude- n- a change or variation occurring in the course of something; interchange or alternation, as of states of things.

patristic- adj- of or pertaining to the fathers of the Christian church or their writings.

Breaking Night- Liz Murray

2011-05-09T10:40:00.003-05:00

#64. Breaking Night: A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey From Homeless to Harvard- Liz Murray

If you've read The Glass Castle, you shouldn't miss Breaking Night. Liz Murray was born to drug addicted parents. It seemed like they maybe wanted to take care of Liz and her older sister Lisa, but drugs had such a powerful hold on them that even caring for themselves was impossible. The kids went days without food, the apartment was in a state not often seen outside of Hoarders, Liz almost never went to school or showered, the list of neglect and abuse goes on and on. The conditions in which she was raised are nothing short of shocking and utterly appalling.

By 15, Liz was out on the streets, sleeping wherever she could and getting involved with a dangerous guy. Fortunately, she had the right revelation at the right time, and began the process of turning her life around all by herself. It wasn't easy- she crammed four years of high school into two years, doing the intense work all while homeless. She studied and slept on the subway, in apartment hallways, in friends' apartments; she worked during the summers and saved up enough money to support herself during the rest of the year. Her hard work paid off, along with maybe a little bit of good luck, and she was accepted into Harvard, along with receiving a New York Times' scholarship.

This is a really amazing story of perseverance, strength, and some crazy hard work and dedication. I find her story pretty damn inspiring, and I'll be thinking of this the next time I complain that something is too hard or impossible to do...

The Beach Street Knitting Society and Yarn Club- Gil McNeil

2011-05-09T10:31:00.003-05:00

#63. The Beach Street Knitting Society and Yarn Club- Gil McNeil

Jo's husband Nick announces he wants a divorce. Jo is stunned, hurt, and angry- until Nick dies in a car accident right afterward. Having been a stay-at-home-mom to their two boys, Jack and Archie, for several years, it's back to work with Jo. She moves the two boys from London to a small town near the English seaside and takes over her grandmother's knitting shop. Longtime employee Elsie isn't happy with all the changes she's making, but Jo's got enough on her plate right now without worrying about that cranky old bat.

It's a big adjustment. Running a business, getting the boys to school, rubbing elbows with the local celebrity actress (yes, really!), keeping up with best friend and famous newscaster Ellen, starting a knitting group at the shop and getting to know the townspeople...Little by little, Jo heals and makes a new life for herself, in a place that finally feels like home.

This is warm, cozy, and delicious. The Beach Street Knitting Society and Yarn Club will have you boiling pot after pot of tea, digging out your yarn and needles to create something toasty warm, and phoning realtors to find that dilapidated English seaside cottage you're now fantasizing about. McNeil's writing is charming, funny, and warm; her style reminded me a bit of Maeve Binchy, whose novels I love. You don't have to love knitting or even know anything about it to fall deeply in love with this sweet novel. I'd give it two thumbs up, but that just isn't enough thumbs!

Class Mothers- Katherine Stewart

2011-05-09T10:16:00.003-05:00

#62. Class Mothers- Katherine Stewart

Laura's daughter Anna has received a scholarship to the prestigious Metropolitan preschool (this is New York City, so getting your kid into the right preschool is crucial; it could determine the outcome of the rest of his/her life!). But Laura doesn't really fit in with the other moms. Everyone else is richer, thinner, snobbier than she is and she's always left feeling vaguely less-than. She's managed to make a few friends and is volunteering to bPublish Poste one of the coordinators of the school fundraising auction, but the drama starts when one of four students kills the class hamster. Which student? No one knows, but accusations start flying and whatever the answer is, it has the potential to ruin the child's academic career.

Laura and the other mothers turn on each other, gossiping, backstabbing, breaking and entering, in order to determine which child has the most problems and is most capable of killing a small animal (remember, these are three and four year olds here), and in their searching, long-held secrets are revealed, along with diabolical plots and devious schemes. When the school auction does take place, let's just say that the Feds are involved.

I just couldn't connect with this. The characters were so one-dimensional. Laura's friends were all snobby, backstabbing bitches; Laura herself had almost no personality other than feeling inferior and self-conscious. I didn't get much of a feeling at all that she loved her daughter, more that she was just irritated by her and felt pressed to constantly keep up with all the other Metropolitan parents. I was hoping for something fun and chick-litty, but this just seemed outlandish, far-fetched, and overdone.

The Good Daughter- Jasmin Darznik

2011-05-02T15:38:00.004-05:00

#61. The Good Daughter: A Memoir of My Mother's Hidden Life- Jasmin Darznik

Jasmin Darznik went home to California when her father passed away, and while she was there, she discovered a photograph of her mother, one she'd never seen before. In it, her mother, barely a teenager, was dressed as a bride. Jasmin knew her mother hadn't married her father until she was much older, so what was going on in this picture? Her mother remained close-mouthed when questioned, but after she returned home, Jasmin received tapes in her mailbox, audio tapes on which her mother recorded her story. One by one, Jasmin listened to them and learned of a life, of a family history she couldn't have ever imagined.

This is the story of skeletons in the closet, of some things that are labeled as cultural but made me shudder intensely (child marriage; a thirteen year old girl giving birth), of freedom denied to an entire gender, of a life decided more by society's rules and mores than by personal choice. Lili, Jasmin's Iranian mother, was chosen by her suitor at 11 and married at 13; her husband was physically abusive. She gave birth to her first daughter at 13, and when the abuse became too much to take, she fled. Unfortunately, under Islamic law, the children belong to the father (whoa, whoa, whoa. If the children belong to the father, then the FATHER needs to endure nine months of pregnancy, shove that baby through his genitals, and enjoy all the aftereffects that pregnancy and childbirth bring, amirite?), so she had to leave her infant daughter behind, to be raised first by his mother, and then by the abusive husband and his new wife. And in the society in which Lili lived, a divorced woman was akin to a prostitute. Eventually, she moved on, remarrying a European and moving to the United States with her new daughter. But she never forgot her first baby.

Lili's story will make you cry, and it will make you so thankful for the freedoms you have. Jasmin Draznik's writing speaks to all the senses; her descriptions will make you smell the rosewater and cardamom-infused tea, taste the flatbread and walnuts, hear the muezzin's call to prayer. It's history, it's culture, it's sociology, it's religion, it's a heartbreaking family story that begins in pre-revolution Iran and stretches to modern day America. It's a great read, and it was a fantastic distraction for me during a really difficult weekend. If you're interested in the Middle East and its culture (and really, it's fascinating), you'll enjoy this.

Thanks to Jasmin Darznik for allowing us all a glimpse into her family history, and thanks to NetGalley and Hachette BookGroup for allowing me to read this book.

Tribute to a really good cat.

2011-05-01T18:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Flannel,

I love you. You were an awesome cat.

I never expected to bring you home with me, but when I went to pick up your sister, my then-boyfriend (now husband) informed me that cats do better in pairs, so into the box you went. While your gray stripey sister cowered in the corner, you, a chubby charcoal gray cat that resembled the I Can Has Cheezburger cat, were fascinated by the outside world and couldn't wait to get outside and explore. Once we got home, you were immediately all over the place, checking things out, and it wasn't a day or two before your tiny kitten legs learned how to jump up on the kitchen counter.

You and Clover grew up. We moved and inherited Reba, another gray stripey, from my mother-in-law, and the two of you became fast friends. So often I would come into the living room to find you two snuggled up, or watch as you guys pounced on each other and wrestled on the floor. It always warmed my heart to see that.

Your first bout with urinary crystals scared the hell out of me. To see you in so much pain was horrible. The second was just as bad. I realized at that time that this was going to be a chronic problem with you, and that I needed to enjoy you for as long as you could be here. It was then that you became my special buddy.

I told you all the time that I loved you, snuggled you every chance I got. You made me smile every day- the way you would lay on your back in the middle of the floor, all your bits spread out to the world; the way you'd sit on the couch behind me and mash your snout into my head; how you'd nibble on my leg whenever I'd scratched that one certain spot on your back; the way you'd dive your head into the couch while laying down, and then look at me kind of upside-down. There were just so many charming things about you.

You could be irritating too- you'd meow loudly and constantly starting about an hour before feeding time; you were constantly trying to get outside and in the garage; you had so much dandruff in your fur, I'm not sure how you actually had any skin left. But the good by far outweighed the bad. You let me rub your tummy, and you loved it when I scratched your chin and your back. You bathed the other cats, and you pushed the water bowl around, making it make a noise to let me know it was out of water. I cried last night when it was eight o'clock and you weren't there to loudly announce it was feeding time.

When I started to notice you straining in the litter box again, I started wondering how fair it was to keep putting you through this. Treatment is expensive, we're not rich, and we'd just be waiting for the next time, because you were so prone to this, even with the special food. It hurt me so much to see you suffer, and it just wasn't fair- you were only almost six years old. Way too young to have to go through this. So even though it hurt to say goodbye, we did, and let you go peacefully. It's not what I wanted, not at all, but I couldn't put you through this again and again.

You were a fantastic cat. You were my big fat bunny, my Peep, my buddy, my Floodle. You made my life better in a thousand different ways, and I've spent the past two days doing little more than crying. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm having a hard time accepting that you're not here. I'm never going to look up to see you chattering at the birds outside the window, never going to have you almost trip me as you rush up the stairs by my side, never going to come into the bedroom to find you napping on my clean laundry.

I miss you so very much, Flannel. Thank you for sharing your life with me, for giving me so much more than I could have ever imagined. Enjoy rolling about in the catnip fields of heaven, and I know you'll be waiting for me when I get there. I love you, bunny-boy.

Love,

your Mom

Brave Girl Eating- Harriet Brown

2011-04-27T14:21:00.004-05:00

#60. Brave Girl Eating: A Family's Struggle with Anorexia- Harriet Brown

At age 14, Harriet Brown's daughter Kitty stopped eating normally. It wasn't long before she needed to be hospitalized for heart problems, and the entire family was plunged into the nightmare of anorexia.

This is a memoir that looks at anorexia from an angle not often covered- that of the mother of the anorexic. Instead of sending Kitty off to a residential treatment center, the Browns kept Kitty at home, focusing on Family Based Treatment (FBT). Mom and Dad kept Kitty with them at all times, feeding her high calorie food on a schedule, minimizing stress as much as possible so that Kitty could focus on recovery.

This is really heart-wrenching. Harriet Brown hurts for her daughter, and she really understands that her daughter is suffering, that it's not just a game, that anorexia is more than just refusal to eat, that it's a mental illness that catches a person in its claws and so often refuses to let go. The recovery rates for anorexia are pretty dismal; something like 10-30% of people with anorexia will die from it. About a third go on to live a normal life, the rest struggle with it forever. (Maybe if we had better mental health treatment in this country, people would have a better chance- Brown's own insurance plan paid for $1800 a year in mental health care. At $200 per therapy visit, you do the math and figure out how likely full recovery is...)

This is a beautiful but sad book. Brown describes the anorexia that overtook her daughter as 'the demon,' something that changed her personality, her life, and affected not just her but the whole family. The Browns' younger daughter Emma struggled with the changes in her sister and in the family as well. Brown chronicles her family's pain with elegance and grace, and she'll make you pray that you have that kind of strength as a parent, to fight every demon out there for possession of your child's mind and body.

I've had struggles with food (who hasn't), and some days it's still hard. But I'm one of the lucky ones. I wish Harriet Brown and her family all the luck in the world, and pray that Kitty makes a full recovery and goes on to live a peaceful and happy life.

Critical Care- Theresa Brown

2011-04-27T13:44:00.003-05:00

#59. Critical Care: A New Nurse Faces Death, Life, and Everything in Between- Theresa Brown

Theresa Brown was a college English professor who realized she was in the wrong place. So back to school she went, this time as a student, and she graduated a nurse.

Brown rehashes her first job nursing on a floor for oncology patients. It's a job where people die no matter how hard you work, and it's not an easy one, emotionally or physically. If you've ever been a patient in a hospital, or you ever will be (and most people probably will), you should read this book. Brown shows exactly how hard nurses work, and how much they care about their patients. I've had some really amazing nurses during my hospital stays (I still think about the nurse I had during labor and delivery all the time. Her name was Katie, she had six kids of her own, and she was an absolute dream), and I've been grateful for all of them. Brown also shows how stressful the job can be- patients ringing the call button every three seconds, doctors not showing up on time, meds and tests needing to be given at certain times (but dependent on that doctor showing up!), patients coding in one room and others being demanding assholes in the next- and through it all, she writes about her experiences with compassion and grace.

I could never be a nurse- not only could I not handle the stress, I physically couldn't do it (early on in her career, Brown injures her knee and worries that her entire career is over. She flat out states that nurses can't work with injuries like that, confirming my suspicion that with my back, nursing just isn't a possibility, no matter how much I might want to do it. Which I really don't. Again, the stress, and, you know, medical stuff. Broken twisted bones, bloody stuff, poop, urine, pus, my stomach is rolling just thinking about it). But I'm eternally grateful for all those nurses out there like Theresa Brown, who make being sick and/or injured a little easier with their care.

Cheaper by the Dozen- Frank B. Gilbreth, Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey

2011-04-27T13:21:00.003-05:00

#58. Cheaper by the Dozen- Frank B. Gilbreth, Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey

I'd bought this from a thrift store eons ago and it sat on my bookshelf (and in a box in the garage) for ages. Stuck without a thing to read a few weekends ago, I ran across my copy in the garage and figured, why not? And it was cute.

Frank Gilbreth was a motion study expert. His wife, Lillian, a psychologist, became a motion study expert right along with him, and together, they had twelve children (one of whom died of diptheria at age six). Frank figured with such a large family, it too could be run like a factory and applied his motion study expertise to his children. This resulted in some amazing outcomes (the kids were all able to speak French and German at early ages due to Dad's insistence that they listen to language records on the phonograph, and he taught them all to calculate quickly in their heads and to use Morse code), and some pretty horrifying ones (a mass removal of tonsils for all the kids. Frank acted like a huge ass during this story, I thought, showing no sympathy to the pain of the children. But he got his in the end when his tonsils came out too, and he found out just how painful it is. I loved that part).

This was cute, but parts of it really, really bothered me, and Frank Gilbreth's sense of humor irked me to no end. I don't think I would've lasted too long in a family like that! There's a sequel that talks about life for the family after Frank passed away, and I have to admit I'm kind of interested in reading about how such a large family survived. I may have to pick up Belles on Their Toes at some point.

Words:

porte-cochere- a covered carriage entrance leading into a courtyard; a porch at the door of a building for sheltering persons entering and leaving carriages.

puttee- n- a long strip of cloth wound spirally round the leg from ankle to knee, worn especially formerly as part of a soldier's uniform; a garter or legging of leather or other material, as worn by soldiers, riders, etc.

appurtenance- n- something subordinate to another, more important thing, adjunct, accessory; (Law) a right, privilege or improvement belonging to and passing with a principal property.

Scratch Beginnings- Adam Shepard

2011-04-27T12:56:00.003-05:00

#57. Scratch Beginnings: Me, $25, and the Search for the American Dream- Adam Shepard

Adam Shepard read Barbara Ehrenreich's Nickel and Dimed and disagreed with it. So he packed up a duffel bag with a few meager possessions, boarded a bus with $25 in his pocket, and headed off to a homeless shelter in a city in a different state to see if he could make it out of poverty. He found it to be a little more of a struggle than he thought it was, but ultimately, through perseverance and determination, was able to reach the goals he had set.

This is an interesting book, but it's not without its issues and flaws. Shepard points out the obvious- that it IS possible to work your way out of a shitty situation. Yeah. We all know that. But what he really says in this book is, "If I can do it, so can you!", when the message should really be, "If I can do it, so can SOME other people."

Shepard makes a big point of not using his college education to get ahead. Which is fine. But there's no way he can totally shuck his middle-class upbringing, being raised by parents who gave a damn and who taught him not only how to work hard but the value of working hard, his intelligence, his health, or his ability to bounce back every time life threw him a curveball. Not everyone has that. Not everyone starts from the same level playing field. That's what I hate most about the "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!" mentality- not everyone has boots, let alone bootstraps.

Shepard was a healthy man in his early 20's. What about the person who's not so healthy? What about someone who is struggling with health challenges (that they can't afford to treat), mental or physical? I couldn't just go out and get a physical labor job as Shepard did- I can barely lift things around the house. Forget bending and lifting on a regular basis. I also have trouble standing for long periods of time because of my back- a full time retail job would cripple me before too long. He was luckier than most, heading into this experiment able-bodied, without chronic illness, without the extra challenge of a child or two (I would've loved to see him pay for daycare on $10 per hour). He also made choices that not everyone would feel safe doing- one of his roommates, I believe, was a convicted felon. Had Shepard been a woman, this experiment would've had to have looked completely different; we women just don't have the luxury of always assuming we're safe.

While I admired his initiative and his drive (which I even found inspiring), I did find the experiment deeply flawed, and am quite peeved by the attitude of, "I can so everyone can!" Life just doesn't work like that. I can fit in size 7 shoes, so everyone can! Right? Right? Nope. Sorry. Life isn't one size fits all. While those who can replicate Adam Shepard's can-do attitude should, not everyone can make it through on their own so easily.

I enjoyed reading this to hear his experiences and am grateful that I've never been in quite such dire circumstances. Close to it, but not quite.

The Story of Yiddish- Neal Karlen

2011-04-27T06:09:00.003-05:00

#56. The Story of Yiddish: How a Mish-Mosh of Languages Saved the Jews- Neal Karlen

My experiences with Yiddish before this book were limited to the summer I checked The Joy of Yiddish out of the library (I believe I was ten, eleven, maybe twelve; I was fascinated with languages as a kid and couldn't wait to get to high school so I could actually start studying one other than English!). And since that was so long ago and I don't remember much of what I read, I was eager to learn more about Yiddish. The language has a diverse makeup; on page 10, Karsten writes,

According to conservative estimates, Yiddish contains medieval and modern German, the Jews' own antiquated holy Hebrew and Aramaic, Russian, Polish, Czech, Romanian, Ukrainian, Lithuanian, Galician, Hungarian, Judean, Ladino, and American English.

And American English has borrowed a LOT from Yiddish! Take these everyday phrases, for example: drek, mish-mosh, schlepp, schnapps, tuchus, schmuck, putz, spiel, shtup, shlong, shtick, shnoz, chutzpah, kibosh, klutz, bubkes, cockamamie, and the translated phrases 'get lost,' 'all right already,' and 'okay by me;' all of them (and more!) come from Yiddish. How cool is that?

The first half of the book delves into the history of Yiddish; the second half focuses mainly on Yiddish (and its speakers and history) in the United States. I'm surprised by some of the negative reviews on GoodReads- I didn't find the author to be repetitive, nor did I notice mistakes in the book. Maybe we had different printings of the book? I personally found this kind of fun, a mish-mosh of language, history and culture, all smushed together in one book. I'm saddened by the demise of Yiddish; it's increasingly becoming an academic language, something to be studied by university professors, very few of who actually speak it. It's a complex, colorful language. On page 76, Karlen points out,

Instead of simply saying one has a sexually transmitted disease, Yiddish declares, 'Er hot in di hoizen a ya-reed,' he has a carnival in his pants.'

And how can you not cheer for a language that's so descriptive?!??

Words:

limn- v- to represent in drawing or painting; to portray in words, describe.

sui generis- (Latin) of his, her, its, or their own kind, unique.

effrontery- n- shameless or impudent boldness, barefaced audacity; an act or instance of this.

zeitgeist- n- the spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time.

kegling- the sport of bonding.

The Killing Hour- Lisa Gardner

2011-04-27T05:43:00.003-05:00

#55. The Killing Hour- Lisa Gardner

Someone is killing pairs of young girls every time there's a heatwave, offing the first one immediately and leaving on her body bizarre and obscure hints and clues as to the location of the second girl. Dubbed "The Eco Killer," he's ramping up again after a three year break. And stumbling across his most recent victim is Kimberly Quincy, a student at the FBI academy. Kimberly has some issues- her mother and sister were murdered when she was younger, and she's never fully dealt with it emotionally, other than turn her anger and grief into revenge-by-becoming-an-officer (I'm assuming her earlier story was covered in another book?), and she's brash, bold, and in-your-face towards her higher-ups. (Can I possibly use any more hyphens?)

And, like all good thrillers, the brash young trainee struggles with her feelings for the sexy older cop (who could've possibly seen that one coming?!?!??). Kimberly and Mac, the officer who has been tracking the Eco Killer for years, head off on a wild goose chase, searching out experts to interpret the clues left on the body Kimberly found, before time runs out and it's too late for the second girl.

This wasn't great. I found it to be fairly predictable, and I thought the killer was so incredibly obvious; I was able to figure it out the first time they mentioned him by name, and as I'm not a big whodunit fan, that's probably not good! The romance between Kimberly and Mac felt forced (and omg, if he called her honey one more time, I was going to jump into the pages of the book and punch him in the face). Kimberly's dad, who's also an officer, showing up in the middle of the book seemed kind of ridiculous to me, although maybe that would've made more sense if I'd read the other books in the series, I don't know. This just didn't work for me, and I really had to force myself to finish it. But maybe that's because I'm just not a huge mystery/thriller fan. Who knows. :)

Words:

cordite- n- a smokeless, slow-burning powder composed of 30-58% nitroglycerin, 37-65% cellulose nitrate, and 5-6% mineral jelly.

ketamine- n- a synthetic nonbarbiturate general anesthetic, C13H16C1NO, used to induce anesthesia, alone or in combination, in surgical or diagnostic procedures of short duration; extensively used in veterinary medicine.

diener- n- a laboratory helper especially in med school.

ecchymosis- n- a discoloration due to extravasation of blood, as in a bruise.

dendrology- n- the branch of botany dealing with trees and shrubs.

palynology- n- the study of live and fossil spores, pollen grains, and similar plant structures.

chlorite- n- a group of minerals, hydrous silicates of aluminum, ferrous iron, and magnesium, occurring in green platelike crystals or scales.

epidote- n- a mineral, calcium aluminum iron silicate, Ca2 (AlFe)3 Si3O12 (OH), occurring in green prismatic crystals.

albite- n- the sodium end member of the plagioclase feldspar group, light-colored and found in alkalic igneous rocks.

adelgid- n- any of various homopterous insects of the family Adeligae, as Adelges abictis (spruce gall aphid) and Pinius pinifoliae (pine leaf aphid) that feed and form galls on conifers.

refugia- n- an area where special environmental circumstances have enabled a species or a community of species to survive after extinction in surrounding areas.

karst- n- an area of limestone terrane characterized by sinks, ravines, and underground streams.

Resurrecting Hebrew- Ilan Stavans

2011-04-27T05:10:00.003-05:00

#54. Resurrecting Hebrew- Ilan Stavans

One night, Mr. Stavans awoke from a confusing dream. After discussing it with some friends, he understood the dream to mean that he was struggling with losing his Hebrew (if you've ever studied a foreign language, you know that language is a use-it-or-lose-it kind of thing). And so began this odyssey, a search for meaning learning the history of a language and what it meant to the author, to Eliezer Ben Yehuda, and to the Jewish people as a whole.

I'm a huge language nerd- in high school, I crammed every language class possible into my schedule, getting straight A's throughout all four years of both French and Spanish, and one year of German (that's all my school offered at the time. I was devastated to learn they'd cut the French program a few years back), so this immediately caught my eye from its place on the shelf. Stavans follows the history of Hebrew: for ages, it was solely used as a religious language, brought out only for prayers, ceremony, and discussions of religious texts. But when Zionists began their push to create a Jewish homeland, Eliezer Ben Yehuda popped up as one of the leaders at the forefront of reviving Hebrew. At that point, only around 10,000 people spoke Hebrew; while not quite a dead language, it certainly wasn't active. And through the efforts of Ben Yehuda and others, today, Hebrew is spoken by over eight million people. I'd call that a raving success. Seriously, how cool is that? Words had to be invented for modern concepts, things that didn't exist when the language fell out of everyday use in the first time- modem, IV, litterbox, radio station. Can you imagine the challenge?), and people who moved to Israel were heavily encouraged to abandon all other languages in favor of Hebrew. I don't quite agree with that idea, but it seems to have worked to revive the language.

What surprised me was that not everyone was happy about Hebrew's revival! Being the nerd I am, I think it's an incredibly cool story, but some religious leaders and certain religious communities were very unhappy at Hebrew being taken from its use only in sacred, religious instances, and thrown into everyday use to discuss profane, mundane matters, such as doing the laundry, arguing over a traffic ticket, and who's turn it is to take the garbage out. While I understand that concern, my inner language nerd is still going, "But how COOL is it that they revived a language that wasn't spoken on a daily basis into a language that's sometimes a person's ONLY language?!?!???"

This is also a book about Ilan Stavans's search for self, for his identity as a Jew and what Hebrew means to him. A lot of history and deep self-examination in what is physically a fairly small book. If you enjoy language and history, you might want to check this out.

Words:

phonology- n- the study of the distribution and patterning of speech sounds in a language and of the tacit rules governing pronunciation; the phonological or the body of phonological facts of a language.

disquisition- n- a formal discourse or treatise in which a subject is examined and discussed, dissertation.

inchoate- adj- not yet completed or fully developed, rudimentary; just begun, incipient; not organized, lacking order.

moribund- adj- in a dying state, near death; on the verge of extinction or termination; not processing or advancing, stagnant.

incunabula- n, pl- extant copies of books produced in the earliest stages (before 1501) of printing from movable type; the earliest stages or first traces of anything.

converso- n- (medieval Spain and Portugal) a Jew or Moor who professed to convert to Christianity in order to avoid persecution or expulsion.

demotic- adj- of or pertaining to the ordinary, everyday, current form of a language, vernacular; of or pertaining to the common people, popular; of pertaining to, or noting the simplified form of hieratic writing used in ancient Egypt between 700 BC and AD 500.

aegis- n- (Classical Mythology) the shield or breastplate of Zeus or Athena, bearing at its center the head of the Gorgon; protection, support; sponsorship, auspices.

fascicle- n- a section of a book or set of books being published in installments as separate pamphlets or volumes; a small bundle, tight cluster, or the like; (Botany) a close cluster, as of flowers or leaves; (Anatomy) a small bundle of nerve or muscle fibers.

sabra- n- a person born in Israel.

corsair- n- a fast ship used for piracy; a pirate, especially formerly of the Barbary Coast.

calque- n- a loan translation, especially one resulting from bilingual interference in which the internal structure of a borrowed word or phrase is maintained but its morphemes are replaced by those of the native language, as German halbinsel for peninsula.

provenance- n- place or source of origin.

weltanschauung- n, German- a comprehensive conception or image of the universe and of humanity's relation to it.

Bumped- Megan McCafferty

2011-04-18T08:11:00.004-05:00

#53. Bumped- Megan McCafferty

In this dystopian YA novel, a virus renders everyone over the age of 18 infertile. Thus, anyone who wants children has to pay a teenage girl, either to get pregnant (those who go professional) or for her baby (only amateurs get pregnant, THEN try to sell the baby after it's born). Prescription drugs taken during pregnancy sever the emotional attachment the mother feels for her child, and the money from 'pregging' usually goes to paying for college for the teenager. So what's the problem?

Melody is a professional, a 16 year old who is contracted to carry a baby for a couple, but not until they find the perfect father (and yes, it's all done naturally. GAH!). Meanwhile, a large percentage of girls at her school are sporting bumps of their own. But right now, Melody's main problem is her sister, Harmony, the twin she just found out she had. Harmony lives in a religious community and this is her first time leaving it (well, sneaking out, actually, but who's keeping track?). She's spent her life preparing to be a good wife and mother and is horrified by what her newfound twin is planning on doing. Pregging for money? The horrors! Melody is baffled and put off by her twin's pushy religious overtures. Melody's best friend Zen has a messiah complex (along with a really obvious crush on Melody; too bad he's too short to pregg with) and wants to save Harmony from making any kind of mistake she might regret while in this new-to-her society.

Harmony, in her attempt to save Melody from what she considers to be a moral nightmare, ends up understanding where Melody is coming from a little too much. When she finds herself in Melody's place, posing for the paparazzi with a 'RePro,' a Reproductive Professional, she's too wooed to speak the truth. And once Melody finds out where her holy roller sister is, with Zen's help, she takes a good hard look at her plans for her life and realizes, maybe what her parents wanted for her wasn't exactly what she wanted for her life.

There are some great twists in here- Harmony's husband (what?!?), the emotional complications of a friend who, despite pharmaceutical help, bonded with her baby, parents who have money on the brain more than love and responsibility. McCafferty sets up a fascinating world in which teen pregnancy is not only accepted but glorified, and she does it with style, class, and humor. This is the first in a planned series, and I hope this gets the attention it deserves, because not only was this a lot of fun, it was really thought-provoking. If you're a fan of YA, I wouldn't miss this, because I think a lot of people will be talking about it.

Huge thanks to NetG alley and Balzer + Bray (a Harper Collins Imprint) for allowing me to read and review this!

Keep Sweet- Michele Dominguez Greene

2011-04-18T07:57:00.002-05:00

#52. Keep Sweet- Michele Dominguez Greene

Alva Jane is a member of the FLDS, daughter of a favorite fourth wife and one of 29 children (seven wives total). She knows her place in her world, is content to follow the rules, and loves her doting father. Joseph John, a local boy several years older than Alva, catches her eye, and the two develop a harmless crush, even going so far as to plan on asking the Prophet (the leader of the community) if they can marry. But everything changes when Alva Jane is caught giving Joseph John a harmless kiss. The cracks in their family structure, which had begun to show with the misbehavior and departure of Alva Jane's brother, cannot be ignored, and for the first time, Alva Jane begins to understand the dangers of a community like hers. Escape is the only option, but how?

The main difference between Keep Sweet and all the other I-live-in-a-polygamous-community books out there is that this one is very fact-based. Unlike other authors who kind of dance around exactly what religion it is their characters belong to, Greene flatout names the FLDS in the beginning. Alva Jane explains the history of the community and quite often drops facts about the FLDS or includes real-life rules I recognized from the nonfiction books I've read on the FLDS. I really appreciated that level of honesty from the author. While there are obviously other polygamous communities out there, none (that I know of) are as regimented or have received the level of attention as the FLDS, and I don't see a reason to write a thinly veiled caricature of them masked as some sort of fringe religious group. It was nice to see the author acknowledge that they ARE the group known for polygamy and some really heinously abusive practices.

Well-written. I'd love to see a sequel to this, to see how Alva Jane fares in her new life, or even just a book about an FLDS teen that begins just after she escapes.

Size 12 Is Not Fat- Meg Cabot

2011-04-18T06:39:00.003-05:00

#51. Size 12 Is Not Fat- Meg Cabot

Heather Wells is a washed-up former pop star. Her boyfriend cheated on her and her mother ran off with all her money, leaving her broke, alone, and working as an assistant director of a college residence hall. The one bright spot? She's living with her ex-boyfriend's hunky brother, private investigator Cooper (who sees her as just a friend, but that can always change, right?).

But female students start dying at the residence hall. The cops don't see anything suspicious about this, but Heather knows eighteen year-old girls just don't elevator surf (and all these girls died while supposedly elevator surfing, riding on top of a moving elevator car and jumping to the top of another car). Cooper doubts her suspicions as well, but he humors her, accompanying her on her journeys to figure out exactly what's happening to the women of New York University.

I wasn't in love with this. I'm not a big mystery person, and I kind of found Heather...I don't know, a little whiny, maybe? There was just something about her that turned me off. I've enjoyed some of Meg Cabot's other books, but this just didn't hit home for me. Seems like the reviews at Goodreads are pretty varied, from "Loved this!" to "Why did I waste my time?" so I don't feel too bad. I highly doubt I'll be reading the next one in the series (Size 14 Is Not Fat Either)- I kind of had to slog to get through this and was relieved when it was over. Just not my thing, I guess.

Hear My Story- Michael Garbutt

2011-04-18T06:25:00.003-05:00

#50. Hear My Story: What Jews Really Think and Feel- Michael Garbutt

Ooh, I loved this! Michael Garbutt wanted to know what other Jews felt about being Jewish. So he packed up his tape recorder and set out to interview Jews around the world. He asked them two questions: What does being Jewish mean to you? Can you tell me a story that includes the words I, Jewish, and recently? This book is the result of his many interviews.

Lots of amazing stories in here, the briefest glimpse into the very diverse lives into what's really just a random group of people joined together by religion and history. There are activists, parents, Holocaust survivors, businessmen, students, teenagers, elderly people, New Yorkers, people who live in the sticks, those who find great meaning in being Jewish, those who barely afford it a single thought. Each interview is only a few pages long, but they're set up in such a way that you get the most amazing peek into the person's life. For just a few pages, you're right there, becoming a part of their story. I love that. I loved the book's focus on understanding the meaning of Judaism to different people, and I also absolutely loved how the questions played out so differently amongst all the interviewees. No interview was alike, and so this book made for a really great read. I didn't want this one to end!

Two thumbs up!

Words:

disfluency- n (Pathology) impairment of the ability to produce smooth, fluent speech; an interruption in the smooth flow of speech, as by a pause or the repetition of a word or syllable.

gestalt- n- a configuration, pattern, or organized field having specific properties that cannot be derived from the summation of its component parts, a unified whole; an instance or example of such a unified whole.

militate- v- to have a substantial effect weigh heavily; (Obsolete) to be a soldier, to fight for a belief.

Silas Marner- George Eliot

2011-04-18T06:10:00.004-05:00

#49. Silas Marner- George Eliot

A read-aloud with Stuart. This is one I'd wanted to read for a long time, but I'd never gotten around to it. We'd finished our last read-aloud, and this is what I found when digging around in my boxes of books in the garage (yeah, they're still in there, sigh).

Silas was run out of his last town by townspeople who believed his dishonest best friend over him, and as a result, now that he's come to the town of Raveloe, he's become a bit of a recluse. The townspeople think he's a little strange, and Silas keeps to himself, doing his weaving and spending his nights counting all the gold he's accumulated.

But all good things come to an end, and one horrible day, Silas returns home to find his gold missing from its hiding place under the floorboards. He's horrified and can barely find a reason to go on, but soon, a reason appears, in the form of an orphaned baby girl who shows up at Silas's house. Maybe there are more important things than gold in life...

Mystery, redemption, love, deep, dark secrets, Silas Marner has it all and more. Not a bad read at all. Stuart enjoyed it (we scrapped a wonky version of Robin Hood to switch to this; the language in that particular translation was awkward and difficult not only for him to understand, but for me to read!), and we've since moved on to The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Stuart is learning that Victor Hugo takes a really damn long time to get to the point). Silas Marner is definitely worth the read. :)

No vocab, since I read it out loud on my nook.

The Panic Virus- Seth Mnookin

2011-03-31T17:39:00.004-05:00

#48. The Panic Virus: A True Story of Medicine, Science, and Fear- Seth Mnookin

The Panic Virus is a hefty, in-depth look at the controversy over vaccines and autism (among other health concerns) that began in the 90's and roared to a dangerous, deadly life throughout the first decade of the new millennium. In an absolutely readable, conversational style, Mnookin starts at the beginning, with Andrew Wakefield and his scams and bad science, and takes the reader through everything- angry parents claiming conspiracy at every corner, bad science, scams posing as cures, misinformation ripping like wildfire through the internet, television personalities whose misunderstandings of anything science-based taken as more righteous than the word of God, and the trials that examined scientific literature and evidence which proved, time and time again, that vaccines don't cause autism or any other disease.

In short, the book goes somewhat like this:

The Autism Rate: Going up...going up...Not sure WHY I'm going up, but I am.

Real Scientists: Hmm. Must study this.

Andrew Wakefield: I think I'll create a single measles vaccine. How can I get people to want to use it? Ooh, I know! I'll do a bad study, falsify data, and make it look as though the measles portion of the MMR vaccine causes...let's see...how about gut-related problems relating to autism? Yeah, that's it! Hey, everyone! The MMR vaccine is dangerous!

Parents: OMG! The MMR is what's giving our children autism! WHY IS NO ONE STUDYING AUTISM?

Scientists Studying Autism: Um, hello?

Jenny McCarthy: My PhD in Mommy Instincts from Playboy University says that you shouldn't vaccinate your kids!

Vaccine Rates and Herd Immunity: Adios, cruel world!

Measles, Mumps, Rubella, Whooping Cough and Various Other Vaccine-Preventable Diseases: Well, HELLO, everyone! So nice of you to welcome us!

Doctors: Good God, what are these things? *looks through medical books from 1920* Ohhhhh.

Snake Oil Salesmen: Buy our products/follow our incredibly strict diet/try this untested and potentially dangerous procedure on your child, and your child will be autism free! If, of course, you understand autism free to mean "completely unchanged and potentially damaged." It WORKS! For REALZ! Just as long as "WORKS" is taken to mean "doesn't do anything."

Real Scientists: Um, guys? Andrew Wakefield's results aren't reproducible. And all the other studies we've done show that vaccines don't cause autism or anything else.

Parents: NUH-UH! CONSPIRACY! YOU'RE ALL BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY BIG PHARMA!

Special Court Conveyed to Examine Vaccine Safety: Actually, the members of this panel are all unpaid, and-

Parents: LIARS! PAID FOR BY BIG PHARMA!

Scientists: Sigh.

Special Court: There's no evidence whatsoever that the claims of the anti-vaxers are true.

Parents: THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY AND NO EVIDENCE YOU CAN SHOW US THAT WILL EVER CONVINCE US THAT VACCINES ARE SAFE!*

(*Actual quote from an anti-vaxing parent. This was her answer to the question, "What would it take for you to accept vaccines as safe?" This wasn't in the book, but it's something I read online.)

I'm a big fan of vaccines, since I like, you know, not having whooping cough and measles and whatnot, and I like that my kid doesn't have them either. I even participated in a vaccine research project last year, in which I was vaccinated against smallpox (they were testing side effects in regards to different doses and areas of vaccination. It wasn't a trial; the vaccine was one they've used safely for years for the military. So in case there's ever an outbreak, I'll be fine, and, you know, probably one of the last few people alive. Which is a bit disconcerting). The whole thing was pretty interesting.

But I will admit, when people started freaking out about vaccines, back when I had a new baby, I knew little to nothing about the science behind them, and it scared me. The internet can be a scary place if you don't have a REALLY awesome grasp on the science behind vaccines, their ingredients, and how and why they work. And I didn't. It's only when my scientist husband (who does NOT work with vaccines) began reading about them, that he was able to explain everything to me in a way that made perfect sense. And Mnookin goes into that and points out the fallacies that anti-vaxers spread, simply because they A. either don't fully understand (most of them), or B. stand to make a buck or two off of it.

This is a really fantastic read for everyone, especially if you like science and/or if you have children and you've been spooked by anti-vaxers. (Along the same vein, Seth Kalichman's Denying AIDS is another good read.) Vaccines are important for keeping us all healthy- not everyone CAN be vaccinated (some people are allergic to components in the vaccines, and for some people, the vaccines just don't take. I once had a dog who, no matter how many times we vaxed him for Lyme Disease, just kept getting Lyme Disease over and over because it didn't work for him. Other dogs in our area were fine), and vaccinating everyone else helps keep those people safe. I'd be absolutely devastated if I didn't vax my kid and he passed along, say, whooping cough to a newborn. Pertussis can be fatal (Mnookin includes a chapter on its devastating effects on infants) in babies. I couldn't live with myself if my actions (or refusal to act) caused my child or any other to die.

And every time I read a book like this, sooner or later, an anti-science person shows up in the comments, blathering their pseudoscience, misunderstandings, and hateful attitudes all over the place, usually going, "ZOMG HOW DARE YOU!!!11!!!!" and claiming that there are two sides to every story. You know what? Not always. If I say, "2+2=4," there's not another side to that. If I call the fire department to tell them my house is burning down, they're not going to say, "Yeah, we need to find someone to tell the other side, that your house really ISN'T burning down, and then we'll debate the two sides before we take action." If I show you a picture of a dog and say, "This is a dog; here's the evidence of it- he's got canine DNA, he barks, he has a canine skeleton, he's domesticated, his teeth are those of a dog, etc.," no one's going to come along and argue that it is, in fact, a giraffe. In the case of vaccines, all the scientific evidence (done by reputable scientists, in actual laboratories- the Geiers and their shoddy basement lab don't count- with reproducible results) point to vaccines being safe for the vast majority of people (again, for people with, say, allergies to a vaccine component, obviously that's not safe, and those people obviously should not be vaccinated). Mark my words, they'll show up; they always do.

Anyway, a great book. Two thumbs up!

Words:

privity- n- private or secret knowledge; participation in the knowledge of something private or secret, especially as implying concurrence or consent.

vituperation- n- verbal abuse or castigation, violent denunciation or condemnation (adj., vituperative).

elide- v- to omit (a vowel, consonant or syllable) in pronunciation; to suppress, omit, ignore, pass over; (Law) to annul or quash.

legerdemain- n- slight of hand; trickery, deception; any artful trick.

Anyone noticing an issue displaying followers?

2011-03-29T19:37:00.004-05:00

I've been noticing that the gadget I had installed through Blogger to show who was following this blog is no longer working. It hasn't been displaying the followers for a while now, and I tried to uninstall it and reinstall it, but that didn't work either.

Anyone have any advice? The header looks kind of naked without it...

Editing on April 1 to note that it seems to be working now. Huh. Such is technology!

Travels In a Gay Nation- Philip Gambone

2011-03-29T15:15:00.004-05:00

#47. Travels In a Gay Nation: Portraits of LGBTQ Americans- Philip Gambone

A book of interview essays of LGBTQ Americans (shocking, right?). Philip Gambone has a very readable-style; many of these interviews sounded like they came right out of a magazine. He interviews a very diverse group of people- artists, musicians, composers; authors, political activists, religious personnel. People from big cities, people from small towns. People who struggled with their sexuality, and those who knew who they were from the get-go.

Some great insights into humanity, and into the struggle that LGBTQ people have had to be accepted as part of the larger community. There are stories that made me go, "Wow, this is a great world," and others that made me go, "WTF?" What's wrong with us, that there are so many people out there out there who are so willing to write off those who are different than themselves, to completely negate anything LGBTQ people could contribute simply because of their sexuality? Why are we so concerned about who people sleep with anyway?

It was interesting to learn in one of the interviews that the British military now recruits at gay pride events. :)

Words:

jejune- adj- without interest or significance, dull, insipid; juvenile, immature, childish; lacking knowledge or experience, uninformed; deficient or lacking in nutritive value.

pipistrelle- n- any of numerous insectivorous bats of the genus Pipistrellus of Europe and Asia.

vinous- adj- of, resembling or containing wine; of, pertaining to, or characteristic of wine; produced by, indicative of, given to indulgence in wine; wine red, wine-colored.

hellebore- n- any of several plants of the genus Helleborus, of the buttercup family, having basal leaves and clusters of flowers, especially H. niger, the Christmas rose; any of various plants of the genus Veratrum; any of several poisonous or medicinal substances obtained from these plants.

cultivar- n- a variety of plants that originated and persisted under cultivation.

stewartia- n- any member of a genus (Stewartia) of at least nine species of shrubs and small trees, in the tea family (Theaceae) native to East Asia and eastern North America.

sonority- n- the condition or quality of being resonant or sonorous.

trenchant- adj- incisive or keen, as language or a person, caustic, cutting; vigorous, effective, energetic; clearly or sharply defined, clear-cut, distinct.

sibilant- adj- hissing.

The Tapestry of Jewish Time- Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin

2011-03-29T15:06:00.003-05:00

#46. The Tapestry of Jewish Time: A Spiritual Guide to Holidays and Life-Cycle Events- Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin

Another information-dense book on Judaism. Rabbi Cardin goes through all the holidays, explaining the why and some of the how. Lots of stories and legends to illustrate the evolution of the celebrations over time.

This is a pretty big book, and in my opinion, it would be better read a small portion at a time, instead of straight through (like I did. But it was a library book, so I didn't have much of a choice, I swear!). A lot of Cardin's writing is kind of abstract, whereas I prefer more hard information, so at times, I was kind of slogging through. But it's a beautiful book, full of stories, and there's a section in the back with prayers (in Hebrew and English), the first that I've seen. I really enjoyed getting to read through them.

Lovely book. It would be a nice addition to a home library, to be read as each holiday comes along. :)

The Night I Got Lucky- Laura Caldwell

2011-03-29T14:50:00.004-05:00

#45. The Night I Got Lucky- Laura Caldwell

Billy Rendell just needs a few things before her life is perfect. Her husband hasn't been paying any attention to her, so she'd like things to be a little better in their marriage. She's been working her ass off to make vice president at work to no avail (even though she so totally deserves it). She's had a harmless crush on her co-worker and friend Evan for ages; would a little flirting kill him? Her mom needs a social life in a big way, and Billy would like to get over her dad running off when she was young. Not much. When her new therapist Blinda offers her a small frog statue that will make Billy happy, Billy scoffs, but when she wakes up the next morning, her husband is all over her, she can barely remember her father, and all her belongings have been moved into a VP office at work. Evan can't stay away from her, and her mother is suddenly on vacation in Italy with friends! Everything is great!

Until Billy's newfound VP power goes to her head and she fires someone who irritated her, but didn't deserve a sacking, placing that girl and her family in dire poverty. Chris's attention gets to be suffocating, her new job is boring, she misses her mom terribly, and Evan's flirting moves to a level that threatens Billy's marriage. When things get totally out of control, Billy does some searching and heads out west to meet the father she hasn't seen in years, hoping that she can at least put that to rest before tackling the rest of her problems...Maybe getting everything you wanted isn't so great after all.

This was Caldwell's next best book to A Clean Slate. There's just enough magical realism to make it fun, and Caldwell is skilled enough to make it believable (even though Billy is made VP overnight, everyone at the office insists she's been in the position for a while now, but no one can remember exactly when she moved to VP). A great relaxing read.

Straight Talk- Sally Berkovic

2011-03-29T14:25:00.003-05:00

#44. Straight Talk: My Dilemma as an Orthodox Jewish Woman- Sally Berkovic

This was really different than I expected it to be, but still fascinating. When I read the inside flap, it talked about how Berkovic is a working Orthodox Jewish woman, and how the book is about her struggles. I was kind of expecting workplace issues, maybe a little about how she dealt with the Gentile world (and their misconceptions about her, etc.). Guess I should have read the rest of the flap!

What Berkovic writes about is her struggles within the Orthodox community, her frustrations that tradition weighs out over the very real needs of modern day women (the book reminded me from time to time of writings about Islam by Irshad Manji and Ayaan Hirsi Ali). While I'm not versed enough in Orthodoxy to comment on most of Berkovic's writing, I totally understand the frustration of belonging to a religion that refuses to recognize your religious needs and desires simply because you have a vagina. So many religions are like that; tradition trumps the needs of its followers, and it can be hugely frustrating. She makes a great point on page 118; she's talking about Orthodox Judaism, but I think it can apply to any religion out there that views women as unable to lead or fully participate in all religious duties:

If the religious establishment continues to deny the potential of women and exclude their participation on spurious grounds, it will only have itself to blame if the daughters of these disenfranchised women move completely away from the community.

And I agree with her in the most general sense, coming from a background of Catholicism (a religion whose disdain for women leaders has been made known over and over again throughout the ages). Women aren't bad or evil for wanting to fully participate in a religion they love. Religion is made for man (and woman!) to feel close to God, and no one, regardless of gender, should be denied that. People WILL leave if they feel their needs aren't being met, and when they're leaving such a close-knit community as the Orthodox, that can be a pretty sad and difficult thing.

Kudos to Sally Berkovic for speaking out where she sees a need. As an Orthodox feminist, I'm sure she's had a hard row to hoe.

Words:

anomie- n- a state or condition of individuals or society characterized by a breakdown or absence of social norms and values, as in the cause of uprooted people.

homiletics- n- the art of preaching; the branch of practical theology that treats of homilies and sermons.

hegemony- n- leadership or predominant influence exercised by one nation over others, as in a confederation; leadership, predominance; (especially among smaller nations) aggression or expansionism by large nations in an effort to achieve world domination.

munificent- adj- extremely liberal in giving, very generous; characterized by great generosity.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People- Harold Kushner

2011-03-29T13:49:00.004-05:00

#43. When Bad Things Happen to Good People- Harold S. Kushner

I enjoyed Kushner's To Life! so very much that I wanted to read more by him, and though I'd checked this book out of the library in December or January, I didn't get to it. This time, I did. :)

Kushner's son Aaron died in his early teens of progeria (this book is dedicated to him *sniff*). After Aaron passed, Kushner set forth writing this book, which is full of wisdom and comfort for the rough times of life. Kushner doesn't shy away from pointing out the difficulties people find when others, particularly those with religious ideals, attempt to comfort them. My copy of the book had a new foreward, and on page x of this foreward, Kushner writes:

What have I learned over the past eight years that perhaps I might have known but did not? Not only is there a lot of hurting going on, but, for the most part, organized religion is doing a poor job of easing the pain. One writer after another told me that her pastor, or her religious friends, meant well but said all the wrong things and left her feeling worse than before they arrived.

We all struggle to comfort those who are hurting, especially when someone is grieving, but it's not really comforting to hear, "God needed him more than you," or a similar rationalization. Kushner makes a great point when he points out that the person, especially a child, might easily think, "If I'd just been needier...If I hadn't been so independent..." He's also quick to address the common argument about how people get what they deserve. From page 9-10:

It is tempting at one level to believe that bad things happen to people (especially other people) because God is a righteous judge who gives them exactly what they deserve. By believing that, we keep the world orderly and understandable. We give people the best possible reason for being good and for avoiding sin. And by believing that, we can maintain an image of God as all-loving, all-powerful and totally in control. Given the reality of human nature, given the fact that none of us is perfect and that each of us can, without too much difficulty, think of things he has done which he should not have done, we can always find ground for justifying what happens to us. But how comforting, how religiously adequate is such an answer?

Man, am I guilty of that! Not for others, but for myself. For me, I think it's a combination of two things: that's how I was taught the nature of God is, and secondly, having suffered from depression from such a young age, my brain pretty much defaults to blaming every little thing on me: if something bad happened, it's because I'm a bad person and I did something bad, no matter how little, to deserve it. Hearing Rabbi Kushner say, "That's not how it works and it's not your fault," is like having a window thrown open after I've burned something in the kitchen. What an absolute relief. Sometimes you just need to hear that you're wrong!

He also talks about victim-blaming, which is something I've heard about from a lot of Christian churches (especially the fundamentalist variety). From page 39:

Blaming the victim is a way of reassuring ourselves that the world is not as bad a place as it may seem, and that there are good reasons for people's suffering. It helps fortunate people believe that their good fortune is deserved, rather than being a matter of luck. It makes everyone feel better- except the victim, who now suffers the double abuse of social condemnation on top of his original misfortune.

And finally, two more quotes that resonated with me. Firs,t from page 80:

In order to let us be free, in order to let us be human, God has to leave us free to choose to do right or to do wrong. If we are not free to choose evil, then we are not free to choose good either.

And page 81:

Why, then, do bad things happen to good people? One reason is that our being human leaves us free to hurt each other, and God can't stop us without taking away the freedom that makes us human.

So why do bad things happen to good people? Sometimes it's a matter of being human. As Kushner says in To Life, God's power is not the power to control, but to enable. He made the world but doesn't control it. I like that way of thinking better than anything I've ever read before. Sometimes things just go wrong- people get cancer or are diagnosed with a life-changing illness due to some flaw in their genetic makeup or some reason that science doesn't yet understand. And sometimes, bad things just happen, and there's no reason WHY, it just is. Kushner's advice for that is to try to not focus on the WHY so much, but to ask, "Now that this has happened, how can I get through it?" Constructive advice, I think.

Wonderful book. Highly recommended to everyone, because who doesn't go through tough times?

The Piano Teacher- Janice Y.K. Lee

2011-03-29T13:20:00.003-05:00

#42. The Piano Teacher- Janice Y.K. Lee

Set in Hong Kong in both the days before and during the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor and 1950's post-war Hong Kong, Lee's novel follows rich ex-pats and their blase attitudes.

Will Truesdale's story starts before the war. He falls in love with Trudy, a Eurasian heiress who flits through life without a care in the world. Things change when Will is imprisoned in an internment camp by the Japanese and Trudy remains free, doing what she needs to to stay alive. In the '50's, unhappy newlywed Claire Pendleton has moved to Hong Kong with her dumpy husband. In order to get out of the house, she begins giving piano lessons to the daughter of a powerful local couple, stealing from them and striking up an affair with their driver...who just happens to be Will Truesdale. As Hong Kong society becomes privy to their relationship, Claire learns the truth about Will, which leads to a different kind of truth and life for Claire.

This was not my kind of book at all. Way too literary for me. I really enjoyed the setting and the history, but the style was hard for me to get into, and I really couldn't connect with any of the characters. Will seemed bland, Claire had almost no personality, Trudy was nearly a caricature, she was so over-the-top. I didn't enjoy this, but that's totally on me- it was mostly a style thing, and pace, I guess. I enjoy books that are lively and fast-paced and upbeat and happy, so this was probably not the greatest choice I could've made in accordance with my personal tastes. (I hate saying I didn't like something when there's nothing wrong with the book itself! It's so hard to explain that it just didn't match my tastes!)

Words:

tiffin- n- (British, informal) lunch.

cheongsam- n- a form-fitting, knee-length dress with a mandarin collar and slit skirt, worn chiefly by Oriental women.

sampan- n- any of various small boats of the Far East, as one propelled by a single scull over the stern and provided with a roofing of mats.

rambutan- n- the bright-red oval fruit of a Malayan, sapindaceous tree, Nephelium lappaceum, covered with soft spines or hairs, and having a subacid taste; the tree itself.

godown- n- (in India and other countries in Asia) a warehouse or other storage place.

ormolu- n- (also called mosaic gold) an alloy of copper and zinc used to imitate gold; (also called bronze dore) gilded metal, especially cast brass or bronze gilded over fire with an amalgam of gold and mercury, used for furniture mounts and ornamental objects; gold or gold powder prepared for use in gilding.

tael- n- liang; any of various other similar units of weight in the Far East; a former Chinese money of account, being the value of this weight of standard silver.

sapper- n- a soldier employed in the construction of fortifications, trenches, or tunnels that approach or undermine enemy positions.

pataca- n- a nickel, silver or cupronickel coin and monetary unit of Macao, equal to 100 avos.

guipure- n- any of various laces, often heavy, made of linen, silk, etc., with the pattern connected by brides rather than a net ground; any of various laces or trimmings formerly in use, made with cords or heavy threads, metal, etc.

Pray For Silence- Linda Castillo

2011-03-29T12:56:00.003-05:00

#41. Pray For Silence- Linda Castillo

The second in a series, Pray For Silence tells the story of Kate Burkholder, a formerly Amish woman turned cop, who is trying to solve the brutal murders of an entire Amish family in her town. The crime scene descriptions are gruesome- seven people wiped out, including a baby; the two teenage daughters were tortured and worse.

Kate's somewhat-boyfriend John (mostly referred to by his last name of Tomasetti), arrives on the scene, bringing with him a whole lot of baggage stemming from the murder of his wife and daughters. He's recently been given some forced time off, so what else does he have to do but help Kate find the killers? Kate, John, and Painter's Mill's Maybery-like officers make the rounds of the usual suspects, questioning everyone who came into contact with the family and learning little...until Kate comes across the secret diary of the younger of the two daughters. Seems she'd been having a fling with an older man in town, and he'd been turning into a huge creep. Unfortunately, the girl never names him and gives few clues as to his identity, so Kate's work is cut out for her.

Not bad for a thriller. I haven't read the first in the series, but this stands okay on its own (although I could've used just a tad bit more backstory in the beginning; I was wondering how on earth Kate had solved so many brutal murders in a town of 5,000 people, until it's mentioned that she'd served on police forces in places other than Painter's Mill). And this book got me thinking- I've read quite a few fiction books that deal with the Amish and murder-either the Amish are murdered, or an Amish person does the murdering. And I'm not a huge thriller/mystery fan, either- what exactly does this say about us as a society, that we see or need to see the Amish in that light? Is it because they're religious and thus perceived as 'good' that we need to place them in bad situations? (Kind of like thrillers a la Dan Brown; there's always a priest or two with an itchy trigger finger and popes champing at the bit for more power.) Just some food for thought.

Not bad. Pretty gruesome in parts, though, so if you're really sensitive to that kind of stuff, you may want to steer clear. But, to quote my friend Melissa, if you like books where people die, this might be right up your alley. ;)

The Midwife's Confession- Diane Chamberlain

2011-03-29T12:26:00.004-05:00

#40. The Midwife's Confession- Diane Chamberlain

Get out your calendar. Clear it off. Drop the kids off at Grandma's, order a pizza, and prepare to do absolutely nothing but sit and read til you turn the final page. You won't want anything to interrupt your reading of Diane Chamberlain's The Midwife's Confession.

Tara, Emerson and Noelle have been close friends for years. But after Noelle (not just a friend, but a midwife, one who delivered Tara's daughter; Emerson was too high-risk) commits suicide, Tara and Emerson wonder if they really knew her- Noelle just wasn't the kind of person who would do that kind of thing! As the two friends go through Noelle's personal and work papers, they discover a horrifying secret that Noelle kept for years: years ago, Noelle dropped a baby not long after birth, killing it. She then stole a similar looking baby and passed that baby off as the one she'd killed.

The clues (the identity of the mother whose baby she dropped, where she got the other baby, etc.) aren't easy to decipher. Noelle had been keeping more than just that one secret; in fact, all her life seems to have been devoted to keeping secrets. Tara, struggling with the recent loss of her husband and the difficulty of parenting a teen who is nothing like her, and Emerson are stunned to learn the reality of the woman they called their friend, a woman they'd loved and supported and thought they'd known so well. But the truth eventually comes out (or what they assume is the truth!), and it involves so much more than the small world in which they live.

I can't say enough how amazing this book is. Chamberlain works magic with her characters and their complex, complicated emotions. The point of view switches with every chapter, and even Noelle gets to tell her story from the past, giving the reader a panoramic view of the tension and unfolding mystery. I was up til 2 am reading this and only put it down because I was exhausted. I woke up at 9 the next morning and immediately turned on my nook, because I had to find out what happened. I haven't woken up early (for me, on a weekend!) for a book in a long, long time, and this was absolutely worth it. I can already tell you, this goes on the list of best books for the YEAR. It's that awesome.

The Midwife's Confession will be released on April 26, 2011. Pre-order it now. Go. Do it. You absolutely cannot miss out on this amazing story. I'd love to see this skyrocket to the top of all the Bestseller lists, because it absolutely deserves it. I haven't read a book so moving, so intriguing, in a long time.

Huge, HUGE thanks to Harlequin and Mira Books and NetGalley for allowing me to read this.

The Weight of Silence- Heather Gudenkauf

2011-03-29T12:06:00.003-05:00

#39. The Weight of Silence- Heather Gudenkauf

Two seven year old girls are missing early one morning in small town Iowa. Calli Clark has selective mutism, which began years ago after her father's abuse caused her mother to lose the baby she was carrying. Petra is Calli's best friend and voice. The girls may or may not be together; they might be in the woods behind Calli's house, they might be far away.

Calli's mother, Toni, is a mess. She's made some bad choices in life, but she's tried to provide the best life possible for Calli and Calli's older brother Ben. Petra's father Martin does his best to keep his young wife calm, but he's full of rage himself. And Calli's father- there's nothing redeeming about this guy at ALL. Just full of evil. With Detective Loras Louis (Lou) running the search (just wait til you read the history he has with Calli's mother), the day races on towards sunset, tensions rise, and long-buried secrets will come to light.

The story switches viewpoints and most of the characters get a turn to tell their story. Lots of drama, suspense and fear in these pages. I read this on a warm afternoon, sitting on the porch and flying through each chapter. The ending...well, it's not fully depressing, but it's not happily ever after, either. It's real. I enjoyed this.

Shining some light on mental illness.

2011-03-11T14:35:00.003-06:00

Hi, my name is Stephanie and I suffer from depression. And anxiety. And panic disorder. And I'm not going to hide any of that. It's part of who I am.

There's a stigma when it comes to mental illness. People don't like to talk about it, and thus it gets pushed aside, crammed into a corner, and it becomes something strange and scary and foreign. And when we refuse to talk about something, it gets bigger and bigger until it looms over us like a dark scary monster, the frightening elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about, not even when it's goring us to death.

All that needs to change. How? The first step is to use your voice. Speak out about it. Let people know that mental illness is out there, and while it's hard and awful and difficult, it's just an illness. It's nothing you should run from. You won't catch it from me, not even if I cough on you. Promise.

Sally Zigmond has a great post up over at The Elephant in the Writing Room where she admits to suffering from depression. I commend her for speaking out about it and wish that it wasn't something she felt like she ever had to hide. No one feels like they have to hide their cancer, their case of pneumonia, or their bad eyesight; why should people who suffer from mental illness need to hide theirs?

Probably, as Sally points out, because a ridiculous amount of people still believe that any kind of mental illness is caused by weakness or a lack of willpower, or some other such foolishness. Please, tell me what I could've done at thirteen to stop the speeding train of depression from slamming into me. Because that's when my depression started. Thirteen years old. I was miserable for years. My whole body felt weighed down, like I was wearing a backpack stuffed with boulders. There were many days I could barely get out of bed and shower, so dark were the clouds in my mind. Nothing mattered, I hated myself, and my life didn't seem worth living. I suffered like that for ten years. For ten years, not a day went by that I didn't consider ending my own life. All because my brain chemistry was screwed up.

And it WAS my brain chemistry. Four days after going on medication, during one of the absolute WORST periods of my life (due to outside forces, but the depression didn't help), I woke up and felt better than I'd ever felt in my LIFE. It finally felt as though that boulder-filled backpack had slid off my shoulders. 'Is this what normal people feel like?' I thought to myself with absolute glee. 'This is what I've been missing out on my whole life? This is AMAZING!' For the first time, I felt. I FELT. Because for me, depression was an absence. An absence of feeling, of happiness, of anything good in life. And finally, I was able to really feel.

I was on medication for...gosh, five years, I think. It seems to have reset my brain and the depression, for the most part, is gone. I still have bad days, but the time of every day being a bad day is gone. The panic attacks have mostly stopped (every once in a while, one surprises me and pops up out of nowhere); once the depression was out of the way, I learned tricks to cope with them and eventually what my triggers were and how to head them off before they caused a full-blown attack.

So it was my brain chemistry. NOT because I'm weak. If I were weak, I wouldn't have struggled through ten years of living like that. It wasn't because I couldn't pull myself out of it- no one expects someone with cancer or MS or asthma to pull themselves out of it, why should a brain malfunction be any different? And it was NOT because I don't have Jesus in my life. Yes, I actually had someone tell me that. When I started suffering from depression, I was actually attending church weekly and praying regularly. So the person who told me that can SUCK IT.

Mental illness is part of humanity. It's part of me. And I refuse to hide it or believe that I'm lesser than or not as good as because someone tells me I am or secretly thinks that. I am who I am, and the years that I suffered helped to shape the person that I've become, for better and for worse. And I'll stand up proudly and admit that I suffer from mental illness, because I want to be part of tearing down those walls.

And if you suffer too, I hope you'll join me.

The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus- Sonya Sones

2011-03-10T22:38:00.004-06:00

#38. The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus- Sonya Sones

Sonya Sones writes in verse. I was wary of that the first time I picked up one of her books, but she drew me in from the first word. And now, with a novel in verse narrated by a woman of a certain age, she's done it again.

Holly is about to turn 50 and she's feeling it, from her creaky knees to her flushed cheeks and thinning hair. Her daughter will be heading to college soon, breaking Holly's heart in the process. Her mother, who lives a zillion miles away, is ill and doesn't seem to be improving. Her marriage isn't looking so hot these days, either- what did she ever seen in this guy? And is he having an affair (how dare he!)? And when will she ever find the time to sit down and write so that her editor will stop bothering her?

Sonya Sones writes like Judith Viorst. (And if you've never read anything by Viorst beyond Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, I urge you to pick up a book of her poetry for adults. She's hysterical.) Humor and reality intertwine in every phrase; I read quite a few poems several times, laughing to myself on the couch. With so few words, Sones evokes vivid pictures and even more vivid emotions. I cried, I chuckled, I fretted right along with Holly. The Hunchback didn't take long to read, but the images of Holly's pepper tree, saying goodbye to Samantha at college, being in the elevator with Dr. Hack, those will all stay with me. This book is totally unforgettable.

The Hunchback of Neiman Marcus comes out April 5, 2011. If you've never read Sonya Sones before, this would be an amazing place to start. Thanks to NetGalley for providing a review copy.

Into Thin Air- Jon Krakauer

2011-03-10T22:00:00.005-06:00

#37. Into Thin Air: A Personal Account of the Mt. Everest Disaster- Jon Krakauer

Despite numerous people telling me how good this book was, I resisted reading it for a long time. I read Jon Krakauer's Under the Banner of Heaven in 2004 or 2005 and loved it, but I didn't want to read this one. Why? Honestly...I have no interest in Mt. Everest whatsoever. I don't want to climb it, I don't want to summit it, and I just don't get what makes anyone want to do either of those. Why? Why do something for FUN that kills people? Lots of people!

But then, it turns out, one of my characters in a story I'm working on wants to be a park ranger when he gets older, and he's interested in this kind of stuff (thank God he's not interested in actually climbing Everest, though! I like him too much for that, lol). And this is a book he has on his shelf, so I figured I should read it and try to understand him and this love of Everest a little better.

Before I read this, I didn't know that Krakauer himself was part of this deadly Everest expedition; I thought he was just the journalist telling the story. Nope, he was there. He reached the summit, and four of the six people on his team didn't make it back down. The story is just devastating. The effects of hypoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain) were such that Krakauer thought he saw and spoke to a teammate who actually never made it off the mountain. People regularly hallucinate at such high altitudes. How some climbers summit without supplemental oxygen, I'll never know. (Especially since I've still got a bit of a cough from having bronchitis in January. I have enough trouble breathing here at sea-ish level!)

Another thing I didn't fully understand before I read this was that Sherpa aren't just guides up Everest. I thought that was just the word used to describe a guide. Not at all. The Sherpa are an ethnic group. The men are Sherpa. The women are Sherpa. Their children are Sherpa. The guides and porters are referred to as Sherpa, because most of the guides and porters ARE Sherpa. Generations of living in the mountainous region of Nepal makes them genetically well-suited for trekking up Everest. Neither my husband nor I were aware of this, and it's something I'm genuinely glad to know and understand now.

Krakauer does an amazing job retelling the story of the disastrous Everest expedition to the best of his ability- he had to interview survivors to piece some of it together, because the effects of hypoxia made some things unclear, and some things that seemed clear were actually untrue. It's a sad story, and I still don't really understand the desire to climb to the top of Mt. Everest. That's 29, 028 feet above sea level. I'll pass, thanks.

If you're interested in learning more about Mt. Everest and the effects of hypoxia on the brain and body, I highly recommend checking out Everest: The Death Zone, a documentary done by Nova (from PBS). The 1996 Everest disaster is discussed, and the whole thing is just fascinating, especially when they do tests to check cognitive function at different altitudes. Stuart and I watched this the other day; he has also decided he doesn't want to climb Mt. Everest. I'm with you, kid. I'm with you.

Words:

theodolite- n- (Surveying) a precision instrument having a telescopic sight for establishing horizontal and sometimes vertical angles.

cognoscenti- n, pl- persons who have superior knowledge and understanding of a particular field, especially in the fine arts, literature and world of fashion.

parvenu- n- a person who has recently or suddenly acquired wealth, importance, position, or the like, but has not yet developed the conventionally appropriate manners, dress, surroundings, etc.

frangible- adj- easily broken, breakable.

scrim- n- a cotton or linen fabric of open weave used for bunting, curtains, etc.

antipodal- adj- (Geography) on the opposite side of the globe, pertaining to the antipodes; diametrically opposite.

peripatetic- adj- walking or traveling about, itinerant.

rapprochement- n- an establishment or re-establishment of harmonious relations.

sere- adj- dry, withered.

bergschrund- n- a crevasse, or a series of crevasses, at the upper end of a mountain glacier.

libertine- n- a person who is morally or sexually unrestrained, especially a dissolute man, profligate, rake; a free thinker in religious matters; a person freed from slavery in ancient Rome.

laggard- adj- moving, developing or responding slowly, sluggish; dilatory, backward.

gibbous- adj- (Astronomy) (of a heavenly body) convex at both edges, as the moon when more than half full; humpbacked.

obviate- v- to anticipate and prevent or eliminate (difficulties, disadvantages, etc.) by effective measures, render unnecessary.

spindrift- n- spray swept by a violent wind along the surface of the sea.

profilgate- adj- utterly and shamelessly immoral or dissipated, thoroughly dissolute; recklessly prodigal or extravagant.

ratiocination- n- the process of logical reasoning.

I Am Hutterite- Mary Ann Kirkby

2011-03-10T21:48:00.003-06:00

#36. I Am Hutterite: The Fascinating True Story of A Young Woman's Journey to Reclaim Her Heritage- Mary Ann Kirkby

I'd heard the word Hutterite before, but I never really knew what it meant. The Hutterites are a communal religious society, kind of like the Amish, but with different beliefs and customs (so, totally different from the Amish, but they live somewhat set apart from society as the Amish do).

Mary Ann Kirkby grew up in a Hutterite colony. Her childhood was full of communal meals, women with numerous children, aunts with open arms, bakehouses, strawberry patches, polka dotted head kerchiefs, and her many brothers and sisters. But when Mary Ann turned nine, her parents made the decision to leave the colony due to struggles with the leadership (bad leadership ultimately cost one of their children his life) and become a part of the English world. Mary Ann and her siblings would have to adapt to the ways of the outsiders amidst the crushing poverty of their parents.

She writes about her childhood with such love. There's a lot of description in here, but she uses words to paint lovely, vivid pictures of a world I never knew about. I hope she goes on to write a memoir about her adult life; I'd love to know more about how growing up Hutterite affected her as an adult. If you like getting a glimpse into a world not your own (and oh, you know I do!), or if you enjoy learning about small religious sects (and I do!), check this out. I'm seeing that Amazon says there's at least one other Hutterite memoir, so I may have to check that out too.

Push- Sapphire

2011-03-10T21:35:00.004-06:00

#35. Push- Sapphire

I haven't seen the movie (Precious), but this was on my TBR list before I even knew a movie was to be made of it.

Push tells the story of Claireece Precious Jones, a 16 year old growing up in Harlem. Her father has been raping her for years, and as a result, she's pregnant for the second time. Her first child, named Mongo, has Down Syndrome and lives with her grandmother. Precious lives with her abusive, welfare dependent mother. Having been kicked out of school after a teacher noticed her pregnancy, Precious begins attending an alternative school, where she learns to read and finds a drive within herself to make a better life for herself and for her new baby.

From what I've read of the synopsis of the movie, it follows fairly close to the book. But wow, what a gritty, sad, desperate novel this is. I had nightmares all night long after I read this. Precious goes into some detail about the incest, but it's not until the end that we find out exactly how long it's been going on, and it's just so horrific I felt like throwing up. What just kills me inside is knowing that this story is fiction, but that there are young girls out there in this situation. There are girls out there living nightmares like this one. And I want so badly to protect each and every one of them and to keep them all safe, and I can't.

My God. What a sad, sad story this is. That's all I can say.

After- Amy Efaw

2011-03-10T21:18:00.004-06:00

#34. After- Amy Efaw

Devon's home sick. Her single mom has just gotten home from working the night shift and wants to talk, but Devon's not interested. That's when the cops show up. Seems like someone tossed a newborn baby in the dumpster not far from this apartment building and they're making the rounds, trying to learn if anyone saw anything. When Devon's mom tries to get her to answer some questions for the officers, she pulls the blanket off her daughter and everyone can see the blood...

After a trip to the hospital, Devon ends up in a juvenile detention center, and through flashbacks, she recounts her life before the incident that landed her there: soccer star, model student, responsible babysitter, daughter of a serial dater. So determined to not become her mother that she'd do anything- dissociate from her body, hide a growing pregnancy even from herself, dispose of any evidence that came about afterwards...

Efaw attempts to answer the question, "Why would anyone do that?" when it comes to babies in dumpsters or other receptacles. Devon is a very sympathetic character, the perpetrator of a crime that usually evokes nothing but anger and calls for vengeance. Does it work? I'm not entirely sure. I don't honestly know enough about the phenomenon to know if there's a certain profile of young woman who is more likely to hide a pregnancy and throw her baby away. The news stories that have cropped up in the past have bothered me so much that I mostly turned away from them. Very little was mentioned about Devon's baby in this story, about what happened to her (it was a girl) after she was rescued, other than she was doing well and had gone to a family. I also had a hard time reconciling the Devon that was talked about before the baby with the Devon that Efaw showed in present tense. Before Devon was talked about as being a leader, a role model for other students, but all that we saw was sullen, angry Devon who refused to speak to her lawyer half the time.

The novel leaves off after Devon makes an important decision about her future, with not a lot of closure, but with a feeling that she is accepting responsibility for her actions and has grown. I'm still kind of processing this. I think one of Amy Efaw's great strengths is her ability to put the reader right in the scene. I was able to see the detention center where Devon was being held, the courtroom, the apartment where she lived with her mother...I read Efaw's Battle Dress some years ago and found the same to be true of that book.

A well-written book that tackles a heavy, heavy subject.

Cruel Summer- Alyson Noel

2011-03-10T20:49:00.004-06:00

#33. Cruel Summer- Alyson Noel

Parents Behaving Badly. That's why Colby is spending the summer on a remote Greek island with her crazy Aunt Tally. Mom and Dad are getting divorced and, along with their therapists, they've decided Colby needs to be away from all the negativity. (Do parents in real life do this? I remember reading all kinds of horrible 80's YA books where the kids are shipped off to summer camp, only to come home and find out Mom and Dad got divorced over the summer. Way NOT to parent! Good Lord.) Colby's pretty ticked off at this, because she just started to make leeway with the popular crowd, and if she leaves for an entire summer, they'll totally forget her. She just knows it.

But off to Greece she goes, grumbling all the way and writing in the journal her mom gave her. She also decides to start a blog of her trip. Since most of the island doesn't have internet, all her blogging must be done at the local internet cafe. Colby's story is told through journal entries, letters, blog updates and emails. She records her dealings with her parents, finds out from her former best friend (whom she ditched for the popular crowd) that her mom has put the family house up for sale (WTF, parents?!?), tries desperately to maintain contact with the popular crowd from back home (including Levi, whom she slept with once before coming to Greece), and, when she finally ventures out and takes part in Greek society, meets Yannis, a handsome local that makes her think maybe this whole summer won't be a total failure after all.

Colby grows and changes throughout the summer, but not without some mistakes. She learns to be who she is and not who she wants to be. While I'd like to slap the hell out of her parents (I think it's a simple matter of respect to keep your child up to date on major life occurrences, like SELLING THE HOUSE AND MOVING), I enjoyed watching her growth and loved the Greek backdrop. By the end of the story, she doesn't want to leave Greece, and I didn't want her to either. This is a fun story and would make a great summer beach read. (Yeah, summer. Remember that?!??? *shivers*)

Dirty Little Secrets- C.J. Omololu

2011-03-10T20:32:00.004-06:00

#32. Dirty Little Secrets- C.J. Omololu

A YA novel about hoarding? Whoa!

I've watched Hoarders on A&E a few times and have been pretty horrified. How sad for those people, that their minds have convinced them they need to live like that. But I've never seen a novel tackle the subject of hoarding (are there any others out there?). Until now.

Lucy wants to be a normal kid and does her best to fit in, but it's not easy. She showers at school because she can't shower at home. No one can come over to her place, no one can spend the night or drop her off close to her house. Because her mom, her looks-normal-on-the-outside-nurse mom, is a hoarder. Their house is so full of junk, of stuff her mother has collected and bought and saved over the years, that entire rooms are unusable. Mom can't even sleep in her own bed anymore. Lucy's two older siblings fled the coop long ago, and Lucy's just biding her time until she's able to get out of there, to move away to a house that smells good and isn't so full of STUFF.

But all that changes when Lucy comes home to find her mother dead amidst her house full of treasures. She could call 911, but then everyone would know. Newspapers and tv cameras would want to know all about the woman who lived in such filth, and so Lucy's final task is to hide it all. Somehow.

Wow. I never knew there were so many ways to describe filth. Omololu never becomes repetitive in her descriptions; each pile holds some new and different item, some unique mess. Lucy's despair is so heartbreaking. All she wants to to be normal, to have a regular life, and her mother is so angry and dead-set against that. Lucy looks back on a day when she went to work with her mother and was shocked at how different, how competent her mother seemed there, compared to the angry wreck she was at home. What we choose to let the world see is often so different than what we really are, and Omololu does a great job of showing that in both Lucy and Mom.

This is powerful, well-written, and all-out amazing. A YA novel about hoarding? YES, and you should read it.

Once Was Lost- Sara Zarr

2011-03-10T18:40:00.003-06:00

#31. Once Was Lost- Sara Zarr

Sam's having a terrible summer.

Her mom is in rehab after getting a DUI, a stay that's long overdue. Her pastor father is busy dealing with everyone else's problems and ignoring the ones at home, which include a constant lack of money. Sam's lonely, alone and confused, and things only get worse when Jody, a13 year old parishioner and member of the same youth group as Sam, goes missing.

Search teams are called out, the media flocks to the town, and Sam's father becomes the family's spokesman. Sam gets closer to Nick, Jody's brother, but it's Nick who ends up doing most of the comforting when Sam feels more alone than ever.

This is a sweet book. It deals with some heavy subjects- alcoholism, money struggles, family dynamics, kidnapping, accusations, and the growing and changing of friendships- but it never gets dirty or gritty about any of these, which is a nice change. I love how real YA is these days, but sometimes it's a relief to have a book that doesn't paint the dirtiest picture possible of life, you know? The ending may be a little too perfect for some, but I found it full of hope, a breath of fresh air amidst a lot of issue-driven, pain-filled YA novels (and don't get me wrong, I love those too! But maybe I read too much of that kind of stuff sometimes).

Very nice. I'm looking forward to reading more from Sara Zarr in the future. :)

Crazy for God- Frank Schaeffer

2011-03-10T18:23:00.005-06:00

#30. Crazy For God: How I Grew Up One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, And Lived To Take All (Or Almost All) Of It Back- Frank Schaeffer

Frank Schaeffer is the son of evangelist Francis Schaeffer, who helped to found the Religious Right. Frank later left the religion of his birth (and converted to, I believe, Greek Orthodox). In the beginning of this book, he recounts his childhood growing up in a Swiss chalet where his parents worked as missionaries. Life wasn't always peaceful and holy. His parents were poor and fought often, at times to the point of abuse. His father seemed to doubt his faith and suffer from what sounded like depression, at the very least. Both parents were so involved in their work at L'Abri, Frank was left to his own devices through most of his childhood; even his education was neglected.

The majority of the book is dedicated to his childhood and life at Abri, which was chaotic at best. As an adult, Frank worked with his father, turning his back on the painting he'd grown up loving. He and his father made several documentaries (which are still shown in churches and Christian groups today) before Frank realized the Religious Right was moving in a way with which he wasn't comfortable and left it all behind.

He's an interesting guy. I don't agree with him totally when it comes to political views, and I think my blood pressure rocketed a few times while reading the book, but I admire him for getting out when he realized it was no longer right for him to be there. This was different than I thought- I was expecting there to be a lot more focus on his adult years- but worth a read if you're interested in the beginnings of the Religious Right in the US and what it looked like from the inside.

Violence 101- Denis Wright

2011-03-10T17:58:00.003-06:00

#29. Violence 101- Denis Wright

Whoa, this was a weird one.

Hamish Graham is a teenage sociopath. He's locked up in an institution for teenage offenders (his third) because, well, the dude's crazy. He's killed animals and done horrible experiments on them, among many other heinous crimes, and he idolizes people like Hitler and Alexander the Great. The staff at the group home where Hamish lives is torn between fearing him and trying to get him to use his obvious intelligence for something positive.

Hamish causes problems all throughout the novel, and it all comes to a head when he runs away from school and a teacher and student follow. I didn't quite believe the positive conclusion; Wright set Hamish up as completely and utterly irredeemable, so I couldn't buy any kind of turn-around.

Hamish was just horrifying and that gives the novel a VERY dark tone. VERY dark. I don't mind a little bit of dark, but whoa, this was a bit heavy for my taste. What I did enjoy about it was that it was set in New Zealand (which is where the author lives). I can't say I've ever read a novel set there, so that was a fresh setting and one I really enjoyed. There was a lot of discussion about Maori culture and the struggles of modern day descendants of the original residents of New Zealand, and that plays into part of the plot. It wasn't quite enough to make me fully enjoy this, because Hamish's sociopathy was so awful that this wasn't the kind of book I could relax with.

Read it if you like DARK stuff. And not Stephen King kind of dark. More like if you love Hannibal Lector kind of dark...

I Like Him, He Likes Her- Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

2011-03-10T17:44:00.003-06:00

#28. I Like Him, He Likes Her- Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

I've been a fan of Alice ever since I was in the sixth grade and a friend recommended Alice in Rapture, Sort Of. Her sweet romance with Patrick thrilled my 11 year old heart, and I've had a soft spot for Alice ever since.

I Like Him, He Likes Her contains three Alice novels: Alice Alone, Simply Alice, and Patiently Alice. Alice breaks up with her boyfriend, Elizabeth reveals a secret that explains much of her past behavior, Dad plans his wedding, and Alice expands her social circle and begins dating again.

Such sweet books. Alice is so delightfully awkward, so normal. She asks the questions that most teenagers would shy away from, and she learns from her mistakes. Part of the huge reason I adore Alice so much is that she's so open to making new friends, even ones who are different from her. In one of the books, Alice dates a guy with a bad stutter. I love that PRN writes a character who doesn't focus on the guy's stutter, but instead on how nice he is and how much fun they have together. These books make my heart smile.

The follow-up to this three-in-one is another three-in-one: It's Not Like I Planned It This Way. It's one I can't wait to read. I do wonder how the earlier Alice novels have held up over time, what with how technology has changed (in I Like Him, Alice emails and uses the computer). The world looks a lot different than it did when I was 11...

Me and Mr. Darcy- Alexandra Potter

2011-03-10T17:32:00.003-06:00

#27. Me and Mr. Darcy- Alexandra Potter

Bookstore manager Emily, 29, decides on a whim to take a tour of the UK which will focus on Jane Austen, her novels, and her characters. Why not? She's got a huge crush on Mr. Darcy, her love life is less than stellar, and going to the UK will get her out of partying in a bikini in Mexico with friend and co-worker Stella.

The trip doesn't start out to be exactly what she'd pictured. Emily is the only person under 60- except for Spike (yes, Spike!), a journalist who signed up for the tour on assignment, hoping to learn what makes women so crazy about Mr. Darcy. He and Emily start off on the wrong foot, and their relationship just continues downhill. As frustrating as Spike is, though, Emily couldn't care less- she's met Mr. Darcy. THE Fitzwilliam Darcy. But she's finding out how maybe what so many women consider the perfect man isn't quite so perfect after all.

Spike and Emily follow the Elizabeth Bennet/Mr. Darcy storyline, which I figured out right after she met him. And the bits where Emily actually meets Mr. Darcy? Were just kind of weird for me. I enjoy a bit of magical realism and suspended belief, but these parts seemed a little off. Emily seemed to act somewhat out of character, even more awkward and kind of foolish and absurd in each scene with Darcy, and it just made me kind of roll my eyes.

I enjoy Alexandra Potter and will definitely continue to read her other books, but I just didn't enjoy this one as much as her Charlotte Merryweather book. Maybe if I were a bigger Pride and Prejudice fan? (I enjoy Jane Austen, but I'm not crazy over her, nor have I ever drooled over Mr. Darcy. Just saying...)

Let's talk about writing routines.

2011-03-04T13:05:00.007-06:00

Are you a writer? I'd love to hear about your writing routine.

My routine has been rather...sporadic lately. I haven't been as consistent as I'd like, but I'll get to that in a minute. Let me tell you about my routine.

Actually, let me backtrack a bit. To understand why my writing routine looks the way it does, I should clue you in a little as to what my daily life looks like right now. Currently I'm a homemaker and a homeschooling mom (all that will change next year, though. We're in a great school district now and my son will be going to school. I'm also going to take some college classes- I'm both excited and projectile-vomit-nervous about this), so that's what takes up the majority of my day. Far from sitting around and watching soaps and eating bonbons, here's how my day goes:

Stuart usually wakes me up between 7 and 8 am. I am so not a morning person at ALL. I've never been. I've suffered from insomnia most of my life (I made it through high school on an average of 3 hours a night), so some mornings are worse than others. I drag myself downstairs- sometimes dressed, sometimes still in pajamas- do an early morning check of my email and internet stuff while Stuart eats breakfast, and then we start school sometime between 8:30-9:00. School goes on til around 3-ish, depending on what we're doing (today, he's doing some writing for me, so I'm on the computer).

After school, Stuart usually reads, plays with toys or watches tv, and I take a little time to catch up on internet stuff (messageboards, email, news of the day, etc.) and then start cleaning. This can be light cleaning (just picking up our school stuff), or it can involve the entire house (which is usually the case!). The kitchen gets scrubbed, the floors get cleared, swept and vacuumed, sometimes laundry gets started, you know the drill. That usually brings me right up to the time where I have to start dinner. I cook almost every night of the week. I LOATHE cooking. Positively LOATHE it. My back hates me, and standing and chopping and cooking and leaning over and all that jazz doesn't do it any favors. Plus I burn myself and/or nearly hack off a limb at least once a week, so the kitchen isn't my favorite place. But I still get it done.

(Side note: After 4 pm, Stuart's friends on the street are all home, and he goes outside to play. "Ahhh, quiet!" you might be thinking. Nope. Not at all. He pops in quite often for a drink of water, to let me know where he's going, to get his bike or scooter or other piece of equipment, to tell me what one of the kids did or said, to ask me a question...On light housecleaning days, I'd be able to get in some writing if it weren't for the every-five-seconds interruptions, but I can't write like that. I've tried. It's not good).

Dinner is served! We eat , and then it's usually tv time, depending on what night of the week it is. Sometimes we just read. I do a lot of my reading in the evenings. Stuart takes his shower at 8 and goes to bed at 8:30, and then I take MY shower and go downstairs to spend time with my husband. (Have you noticed the lack of writing yet? Yeah...) Usually around 11, he and I head to bed. Once he's asleep, if I'm not tired (and most nights, I'm not), I'm up and out of bed and downstairs and on the couch writing.

Yup. My writing time is from 12am-2am.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, right?

It varies. Some nights (like most of the past two weeks), I'm exhausted and end up falling asleep (I'm actually starting to wonder if I'm anemic. Must remember to take vitamins...), or I write a little bit, realize I'm sleepy and head to bed. Other nights I don't write at all and get ticked at myself for that. But most nights, I'm up, typing away, googling random things (some of the things I've googled this week for writing- temperatures of Lake Michigan, Italian cars, surfing) and working the info into my story. Or, in this case, stories. This is the first time I've worked on two different stories simultaneously. One is a new idea, one is an older Word doc that I reread a few months ago and thought showed promise. There's no particular order in which I choose which one to work on, just whatever project I've been thinking about more that day.

My biggest obstacles to writing at night are these guys:

(The black and white one on the bottom is a repeat; he's also in the top picture. We only have five cats. ONLY. Yeah. From left to right on the bed: Reba, Clover, Indy and Piglet. Indy and Piglet are brothers. Bottom picture: Flannel, who is Clover's brother, and Indy. They're not dead. They just sleep like that.)

These guys are nocturnal, I swear. Every night, they're up and down the stairs, all over the couch, in the kitchen meowing, chasing bits of food across the floor, yowling loudly at the neighbor cat outside the back window, playfully fighting and chasing each other across the living room floor, licking any plastic bag they can find (OMG I HATE THAT SOUND). From time to time, one- sometimes more- decides he or she absolutely cannot go a moment longer without sitting on my lap/chest/shoulders. Reba likes to sit on the back of the couch and bat at my hair. Clover likes to lick my toes. It's an all-night cat circus around here, so it's a wonder I ever get any writing done at all!

I sit on the couch when I write. Sometimes I'll have a dim light on, sometimes I don't bother. I write better with no music (which is strange, because when I was younger, I couldn't write without it!), but sometimes I'll listen to a certain song before I start writing, for inspiration. Other than the sound of the cats and the ticking of the clock, I need silence when I write. Which is why this blog post took 43879274392 hours to finish- my son kept asking me how to spell certain words and kept stopping his own writing to talk to me.

So there you have it. That's how I write. I usually keep a browser window open for thesaurus.com, since my brain is slow and I often have trouble coming up with exactly what I want to say right at that particular moment. If it weren't for online thesauri (I love that word), my first drafts would be even more of a sewage-ridden cesspool.

How do you write? What are your routines? I love hearing how my fellow writers go about their craft.

Spammers got to me.

2011-03-01T09:15:00.002-06:00

If you received a spam email from my address, please accept my huge apologies. I was hacked or phished or SOMETHING this morning, and I changed my password on both my email and Facebook accounts.

This is the first time this has ever happened to me, so I suppose in, what, 12 years of having an email address, that's pretty good. But still. Sorry, guys! :(

Treasure Island- Robert Louis Stevenson

2011-02-18T22:20:00.004-06:00

#26. Treasure Island- Robert Louis Stevenson

"Mom? Do these guys ever find the treasure? Because it seems right now that all they're finding is death." -Stuart, age 8

My son cracks me up. I'm always startled by how much he understands when I read him these books out loud.

I chose this for several reasons- one, what boy doesn't like pirates? Two, I had it on my nook, and three, I was assigned to read this in school and never got through it because I didn't understand any of it.

Why didn't I understand it, you ask?

BECAUSE THEY ASSIGNED IT TO US IN FIFTH GRADE. FIFTH GRADE, PEOPLE.

Ahem. Please excuse me. I tend to go CRAZY CAPS LOCK LADY from time to time.

But really, fifth grade. Ten years old. Maybe back in 1833, a ten year old could read and understand this well, but by 1990-91, speech and literature had changed significantly, and a ten year old at that time, even a heavy reader as I was, couldn't make heads or tales of it. I wanted to like it, because I knew it was one of those books that I should read, that smart people read and enjoyed, but alas, 'twas not to be. I still remember dreading being assigned chapters every night, because I knew I wouldn't understand what was going on. I remember what the cover of my copy looked like, too (Amazon doesn't seem to have it).

I enjoyed it this time around, but there were still passages where I had to pause and think about, or even read twice to figure out what exactly Stevenson said. I had to explain what a mutiny was to Stuart, and I stopped often and asked him, "Do you get what's going on? Do you understand what just happened?" And if he said no, we'd talk about it. He enjoyed this too. We've moved on to one of the many retellings of Robin Hood, but I'm not enjoying it at all, so maybe we'll switch to something different, I don't know.

But I want to know...Were you ever assigned anything you felt was entirely age-inappropriate in grade or high school? Something that was beyond your capacity at the time? Scholastic.com sets this at a 7.1 for grade level, but I don't know if I would've gotten this even in seventh grade. Students that came to my high school from one of the public feeder schools always complained about being assigned Great Expectations in eighth grade (but I think THAT was a lot easier to understand than Treasure Island!). We were also assigned The Diary of Anne Frank in either fifth or sixth grade, which led to some embarrassing moments when some students had to read aloud the sections where Anne wrote about getting her period and kissing Peter. Do you have a similar story? What books did your teachers foist upon you at too early of an age?

Define Normal- Julie Anne Peters

2011-02-18T22:11:00.003-06:00

#25. Define 'Normal'- Julie Anne Peters

Antonia is excited to participate in the peer counseling program, but her excitement dims when she realizes whom she'll be counseling. Jazz Luther is a punk with strange hair, goth makeup and a bad attitude. She's as different as can be from Antonia, who plays it straight and keeps her grades up. But Antonia's hiding a big secret- her mom stays in bed all day and doesn't take care of the family at all. Antonia's left trying to run the household and care for her two younger brothers all on her own. She's barely making it work.

But an unlikely friendship begins to grow between the two girls, and Antonia discovers that Jazz's rough exterior is nothing more than rebellion from her upper-class wealthy family. It's Jazz's family who is there for Antonia when things fall apart, but Antonia returns the favor by convincing Jazz to not let images and her stubbornness destroy what she really loves.

This was sweet. It's the first book by Julie Anne Peters that I've read that didn't deal with any LGBT themes. It was shelved with the YA at my library, but it felt more like late middle grade to me, maybe because the characters themselves were only 13. There's a cute twist at the end, and it's a good reminder about how looks can be deceiving and that prejudice comes in many forms.

Bitter Melon- Cara Chow

2011-02-18T22:00:00.003-06:00

#24. Bitter Melon- Cara Chow

Frances (Fei Ting) is a senior in high school, pressured to achieve and be the perfect Chinese daughter by her hardworking single mother. Mom is kind of a nightmare. She forces Frances to shape her life to fit Mom's expectations, and nothing but that will do.

Due to a scheduling snafu, Frances ends up in Speech class instead of Calculus, and there, she finds she has a gift. She begins sneaking behind her mother's back (with the help of a sort-of friend, Theresa, whom she'd always regarded as a goody-tw0-shoes, but who now turns out to be kind of okay) to attend speech competitions. She even wins trophies! But when Mom finds out, she's furious. She even beats Frances with her trophy. Fortunately, Theresa's mother calms her down, but wow, who can live with that?

Speech is the one place Frances can spread her wings, and her speech teacher encourages her to use it to find her place in the world. With newfound confidence, Frances begins to step outside the large shadow cast by her mother, to make her own choices and decide her own future. This is a lovely coming-of-age novel with a Chinese-American viewpoint (loved this; Chow gives the reader an amazing look into the life of a daughter being raised by one of those Tiger Mothers we've been hearing about recently).

Leftovers- Laura Wiess

2011-02-18T21:48:00.004-06:00

#23. Leftovers- Laura Wiess

Another heavy Laura Wiess novel. Dual narrative again, it tells the story of Blair and Ardith, two girls who, on the surface, have very different lives, but underneath, they're strikingly similar.

Blair's the daughter of a local politician. Her mother is dead set on making judge and she'll sacrifice anything- the family dog, the house, her daughter's happiness- to get it. Blair is expected to give up everything and become her mother's pawn. Ardith lives in a party house. Her parents are trying to relive their youth by relieving themselves of all responsibility, and the house is full of drunk, leering men who think nothing of squeezing and groping anything female that wanders by. Their fellow classmates are cruel and torturous. The girls can only trust each other, but after Blair's mother walks in on their two-person New Year's party, she forbids Blair to see Ardith.

When injustice encroaches their lives once again, Blair and Ardith concoct a plan for justice and revenge, one that draws fully on what they've learned from the adults who've raised them. It's horrifying, yet it's easy to see how and why such a plan came to be. This is an intense novel, filled with desperation, the teenage version of vigilante justice, and the sad consequences of awful parenting.

Have you read this? I wonder what happened after the story. What happened to Blair and Ardith? Could they have been charged with anything? Despite my years of watching Law and Order and Lockup, I don't know enough about the legal system to hazard a guess...

Your Big Break- Johanna Edwards

2011-02-18T21:37:00.003-06:00

#22. Your Big Break- Johanna Edwards

Wanna dump that loser boyfriend or quit your dead end job? Dani will break up with him or terminate your employment for you! She works for Your Big Break, Boston's only breakup service, and lately, she's been breaking all the major rules her boss has set. But she's got bigger problems when a young women sits down in front of Dani's desk and wants to break up with her married boyfriend- who just happens to be Dani's FATHER. Her MARRIED father! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously, that's a case she can't handle. But Dani's too busy breaking her boss's rules and getting involved in the personal lives of her clients and dumpees. She plays matchmaker, befriends one distraught break-up victim, and starts to fall for another, handsome lawyer-turned schoolteacher Brady. Her inability to tell Brady and her parents where she works leads to problems (deception doesn't pay!), but Dani figures it all out and comes out on top in the end.

Cute, cute, cute! The ending is just a tad bit predictable, but I loved it anyway. This made me smile the whole way through.

Touch- Francine Prose

2011-02-18T21:19:00.004-06:00

#21. Touch- Francine Prose

Maisie has always been one of the guys. Ever since preschool, she's hung around with three boys, Kevin, Chris and Shakes (who has mild cerebral palsy). After going to live with her mother for a year in Wisconsin, Maisie returns back home to live with her dad and evil stepmother (who's not evil at all, just trying too hard), sporting a puberty-gifted set of boobs. The guys immediately notice Maisie's new chest and it changes the whole dynamic between them.

When school starts, she and Shakes pair off somewhat and begin touching and kissing on the back of the bus. But something happens one day between Maisie and the three boys, and the whole thing turns into a she-said-they-said nightmare, especially since it's clear Maisie isn't coming totally clean about what happened (clear to the reader; unclear to her parents and lawyer). Everything changes for Maisie and she has to decide what's really important before it's too late.

I was REALLY uncomfortable with this book. REALLY uncomfortable. According to the US Justice Department, fewer than one in three rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police. And with the creepy Georgia State Representative trying to change the law so that victims of rape must be referred to as 'rape accusers'...I'm really uncomfortable with a book that might further the idea that victims of sexual assault lie about what happened to them. Does that make sense? I read another book a few years ago about a girl who faked a sexual assault (can't remember the title of that one) and that really bothered me too. I think anything that perpetuates that stereotype does a huge disservice to women, and I just couldn't get behind this book at all. I've enjoyed other books by Francine Prose, but not this one. Not at all.

Not That Kind of Girl- Siobhan Vivian

2011-02-18T21:03:00.003-06:00

#20. Not That Kind of Girl- Siobhan Vivian

Natalie is president of the Student Council and the protege of her uber-feminist teacher, Ms. Bee. She may not have that much of a social life, but she and her best friend Autumn (who got stuck with the nickname 'Fish Sticks' freshman year) stick together, and that's all Natalie really needs.

But it's senior year, and things get complicated. Freshman Spencer Biddle (Natalie's former babysitting charge!) is the exact opposite of Natalie- she's free spirited and not afraid of her sexuality. She's just as much of a feminist as Natalie, but in different ways and with a bit less maturity. Thanks to Spencer's outlandish behavior, Natalie organizes a girl's summit that will ultimately lead to a lot of trouble. And there's Connor, the handsome football player. He's interested, but Natalie doesn't have time for him, at least on the surface. A bunch of late night visits to his family's Christmas tree farm make her think differently, but she's still not willing to be seen with him in public. But Natalie's got a LOT to learn, and none of it comes easy.

There's a lot of judgment in the book, and the message about not judging is maybe a tad bit heavy. By the end, I was pretty ready to move on to something new. Natalie's drive, stubbornness and constant shrugging off of everyone and everything that didn't fit in with her immediate plan became tiresome, and I actually enjoyed freewheeling Spencer as a character more than Natalie. This was just so-so for me.

The Next Big Thing- Johanna Edwards

2011-02-18T20:52:00.003-06:00

#19. The Next Big Thing- Johanna Edwards

Kat's been overweight all her life, and she's not happy about it. She's even hiding her real weight and shape from her online English boyfriend, Nick, who only likes thin women. So when Kat's best friend Donna tells her about a new weight loss reality show, she's all for it. She doubts she'll actually be cast...but she is. A few white lies to Nick about where she's going, and Kat's off to LA for stardom and the real start to her life- because her real life would only begin when she got thin.

But being on the show is harder than she thought it would be. The other girls are difficult to live with. The challenges aren't easy. And the twists (because every reality show has a twist, right?) are nightmarish. Suddenly, Nick is there, he's seeing the real her, and he doesn't at all like what he sees. At least the host, handsome Jagger, is in her corner...

What a fun book. Kat, despite her insecurity and constant need to tell things exactly as they are, is very likeable (Blogger is telling me, with the use of squiggly red lines, that that is misspelled, but dictionary.com informs me that both likeable and likable are accepted spellings. SO THERE, BLOGGER), the kind of girl you'd want as a friend. While parts of the show baffled me (how on earth did they keep track of the score? Some of it seemed a little unfair), I enjoyed this very much. The chick lit genre is such fun- even when it tackles serious issues, it does so in a non-depressing way, and I love that. Some novels are a chore to read when they take on serious subjects. And sometimes I'm in the mood for that, and that's fine. But when I want to read a lighter, enjoyable book that makes me laugh all the way, I always turn to chick lit, and Johanna Edwards writes it well.

How It Ends- Laura Wiess

2011-02-18T20:33:00.004-06:00

#18. How It Ends- Laura Wiess

I loved Wiess's Such a Pretty Girl, so I was thrilled to come across How It Ends.

Set up as a dual narrative, How It Ends tells the story of Hanna, a teenager with a huge crush on Seth, a kind of a loser-ish guy, and Hanna's neighbor Helen, who has served as a kind of grandmother over the years. Helen's dying and she's ashamed of the secrets she's kept from Hanna and the lies she's told her over the years, so she undertakes a task that will allow Hanna to know the truth as she fulfills her community service requirement by taking care of Helen. Helen's story unfolds as Hanna's relationship with Seth blossoms and crumbles, and it's only at the end (a huge social commentary in and of itself) that Hanna learns the full truth.

Laura Wiess does NOT shy away from tough issues, and I love that. Her characters are so real- each is so very deeply flawed, yet still likeable (okay, maybe not Meredith's stepdad in Such a Pretty Girl *shudder*). Her books are full of complex social issues and differing attitudes and opinions toward them. If you've never picked up a Laura Wiess book, you're really missing out on an amazing author.

Between Mom and Jo- Julie Anne Peters

2011-02-18T20:21:00.003-06:00

#17. Between Mom and Jo- Julie Anne Peters

Nick has two moms. There's Mom, the woman who gave birth to him and to whom he's biologically related, and there's Jo, Mom's partner, who is just as much of a mother to Nick, but in a different way. Nick loves them both, and despite the teasing, the taunting, the looks and the whispers, he's happy with the life he has. Mom and Jo aren't perfect, but their home is happy and Nick feels he's got it pretty good.

But things change, and Nick finds himself caught between his two mothers. Since Jo never formally adopted him, she has no legal right to custody. Mom is too angry to allow Nick to see her, so Nick takes matters into his own hands. His grief and anger lead him to a few bad decisions, and everyone must make some very painful choices and sacrifices.

Julie Anne Peters writes amazing fiction. I picked this up in the library one Saturday (we go to the main library branch every Saturday morning and hang out for a few hours) and read this entire thing during our time there. As I read through the climax of this novel, I sat there, tears in my eyes, right in the middle of the library. I kept having to pull out my kleenex and wipe my nose and eyes. Ms. Peters does an amazing job of making you see things through Nick's eyes...and then suddenly slamming you with an understanding of how much Mom is struggling, too. Wow. Very, very powerful story of a kid caught in the wreckage of the end of his parents' relationship.

CSN Stores hit it out of the park again!

2011-02-07T21:58:00.016-06:00

Hello, fabulous readers! Remember when I asked you to keep your eyes peeled for something awesome from CSN Stores? Well, the time has finally come! (Now that it's not holiday season, I'm not running around like a headless chicken trying to get everything done, I'm not coughing myself onto the floor with bronchitis, and I no longer sound like Marge Simpson when I talk. Ahem.) So, CSN Stores. They have so much great stuff (they have over 200 stores! That's a LOT of stores!) that when I was offered another opportunity to review a product, I had a really hard time choosing. (Although you know what looks fantastic? This Eames lou nge chair. Remember that scene in 'Friends' when Chandler and Joey ordered those recliners and how they just sank into their respective chairs and made noises of extreme relaxation? Yeah, that's what that chair reminds me of. Ahhhhhhhhh...)

So I poked around on some of their many, many sites, and I finally decided on a bread machine. I used to LOVE making bread and had no problem with all the kneading, the rising, the waiting, the kneading, the waiting, the kneading...and then I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease. My back's not what it's used to be, and standing for long periods of time and kneading isn't in the cards for me these days. I missed the taste of homemade bread, and this seemed like a great opportunity to test out a product that would allow me to have that again, just without all the pain and hassle. So let me introduce you to my new friend, Breadman TR520! The Breadman, an up-to-2lb capacity breadmaker, was delivered to my house promptly after ordering, and arrived in a cardboard box (which is still in my kitchen and is being used as a book receptacle, shhhh). When I opened the box, the Breadman was in his own pretty box! Say hello to Breadman!

I pulled Breadman out of his cozy box and set him down on the counter. He's not terribly heavy; I can't lift much (holding my laptop out in front of me starts making things in my back spasm), but Breadman didn't bother me (of course, I'm very careful as to how I lift things, too!). He comes with a lovely little booklet full of instructions and recipes, which I read and followed. If you purchase this (or any other bread machine, I'm guessing), they mention that you should run it through a cycle on empty at first to burn off any manufacturing oils that might be left on the equipment. I highly suggest you follow this, because PHEW, it didn't smell great and I can't imagine how that would affect the taste if you didn't. So, here's Breadman and his helpful instruction manual buddy:

Are you ready to make some bread with Breadman? Yay, so was I! I decided on an easy loaf of white bread to test it out, and the ingredients couldn't have been more simple:

I added the ingredients into the bucket in the very specific order mandated by the instructions:

And into the machine it went to mix:

Even though the Breadman makes breadmaking easy, you can't bake without a helper, right?

He loves to help in the kitchen! (If you look carefully in the background, you can see evidence of a Nashville snowstorm. It was snowing like the dickens this whole afternoon. I love cooking when the weather is nasty!)

The Breadman is actually pretty quiet when it mixes. I was expecting something loud, but while I could hear it when I was in the living room, it wasn't an obnoxious sound and didn't bother me or distract me at all, and really, I probably only noticed it because I was listening for it so I could report back on exactly how loud it was. (Egads, that was a run-on sentence...)

The bread began to rise:

Don't you love the little window? Stuart kept climbing on the counter to peek at it. :)

The smell of fresh bread began to waft through the house, and I busied myself cooking other things. Before I knew it, the Breadman beeped at me, signaling that my loaf was ready. I let it sit the specified amount of time, and then...

Isn't that the cutest loaf of bread ever? Breadman makes short, squat loaves; they're not like the longer loaves you'd get if you used a traditional bread pan (you also have the option of running it just on the dough setting, taking it out and letting it bake in the oven. I haven't tried that yet but I will sometime in the future, I'm sure). On the Cookware.com website, one of the reviews complains about the mixing paddle getting stuck in the loaf. I think that's an issue with most bread machines- you're going to have to do a little digging to get the paddle out, but if you're careful, it won't disturb the bread too much. I had very little trouble dislodging the mixing paddle, for what it's worth. I used the medium setting for the crust for this particular loaf.

"But how did it taste?" is what you're probably wondering. Well, I'll show you what we turned this Breadman-baked loaf of bread into:

How's that for fabulous? Homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich on freshly baked bread. It. Was. AWESOME. Stuart told me it was the best meal he'd ever eaten and begged me to make it over and over and over again. So yeah, I think Breadman made some pretty fantastic bread!

The machine was really easy to clean; the pan wiped down nicely and had no hard bits clinging to it. We've used it two more times since then, and I've got big plans to cook up a loaf of jalapeno cheddar bread sometime in the near future. So many great dough recipes to try (you can do bagel dough in there! I tried making bagels at home once, and while the dough itself turned out well, I learned that you really should have a pair of tongs to lift the bagels out of the boiling water and not just lift them out using a wooden spoon. Boiling water and bare arm skin should not be intimate friends), and now CSN has provided a product that allows me to try them all!

One last note of interest: One of CSN's stores, allmodern.com, is currently running a contest with a chance to win a $25,000 living room makeover with Celebrity TV Designer John Gidding as the grand prize, and second and third prize ain't too shabby either! And who DOESN'T need help decorating??? I know I do. It's pretty sorry looking around here! Check it out at this link. Contest runs through April 15, 2011, so hurry!

Huge thanks to Caitlin from the CSN Promo Team, and to CSN Stores for allowing me to test out a product that works great AND saves my back!

An Ice Cold Grave- Charlaine Harris

2011-02-03T18:52:00.004-06:00

#16. An Ice Cold Grave- Charlaine Harris

I don't read a lot of paranormal stuff, but I've heard that a lot of people love Charlaine Harris, so I was looking forward to reading this.

It started out mostly okay. I haven't read the first two books in the series, but I caught on to what was going on right away. After having been struck by lightning, Harper developed the ability to 'hear' when there's a dead body in the ground, and she's made a business out of this. Her stepbrother (they were raised together by terrible parents) Tolliver accompanies her as a manager of sorts, but Harper's got more than sisterly feelings for him. (Okay, that's just weird. I get that they're not blood related and all, but the whole idea of hooking up with someone you were raised with just creeps me out, big time.)

Harper and Tolliver head off to Doraville, where young boys have been disappearing for months. Instead of finding just one grave, Harper finds a mass grave of eight boys, and the horrors that have been visited upon those boys are enough to make her pass out. The cops warn her to stick around town, they're not finished talking to her or using her gift yet (and they're none too friendly at any given time), and that night, Harper is attacked by some unknown assailant, most likely the killer. And when she's in the hospital, some old friends, Xylda and her grandson Manfred, enter the picture.

Post-hospital, Harper and Tolliver stay in an isolated cabin belonging to the woman who hired them in the first place (her grandson is one of the boys in that mass grave). And while they're up there, Charlaine Harris involves them in one of the most uncomfortable-to-read sex scenes EVER. EVER.

She actually uses the word phallus, you guys. PHALLUS. As in, "His phallus was..." I put the book down and laughed out loud. I realize that there aren't a lot of great words to describe the male sex organ, but that one? No, no, no. Just no. And if use of that word isn't bad enough, Tolliver's phallus is curved. OMG. TMI, Charlaine. Tee-Em-Eye.

(Feel free to take a moment to scrub out your mind's eye. I'm still trying.)

So they stick around town, Harper saying things to herself like, "I have to stop referring to him as my brother." (If you've ever said anything like that about your own relationship, you may want to rethink. Just sayin'.) But Harper gets the feeling she's missing something, and she is...There's plenty more, and it's all creepy.

I really had a hard time getting past the whole "doin' it with my stepbrother" thing. The premise of this is good, but it didn't draw me in. Harper didn't seem to have much personality, did she? It seemed like she was kind of hollow, like she never had any strong reaction to anything. I didn't get a sense of who she was, what she liked (other than her stepbrother). She just felt blank. I like my characters with more personality.

So I don't think I'll read any others from the series, but at least I tried. Off to try to scrub the word PHALLUS out of my brain.

Lost and Found- Carolyn Parkhurst

2011-02-03T18:32:00.004-06:00

#15. Lost and Found- Carolyn Parkhurst

I loved this. LOVED it.

This is one of those books that makes me want to run and hide, as a writer. Because nothing I write could ever be this good. For realz, yo.

Lost and Found is set against the backdrop of a reality-style television show, The Amazing Race meets...I don't know, some kind of scavenger hunt (I don't actually watch The Amazing Race; does it involve a scavenger hunt?). Each chapter is voiced by a different contestant (and there are quite a few). When authors do that, I sometimes get confused and forget who's who, but never once did I forget here. Each voice is distinct, each character is memorable enough that I wasn't grasping at straws through the first paragraph, trying to figure out who that one was. No. As soon as I saw the name, I knew. And that's a pretty big deal in my book.

The characters are varied and deep. Laura is a middle-aged widow struggling with her relationship with her daughter Cassie, who hid a pregnancy from her, gave birth alone in her bedroom, and then gave up the baby for adoption. The two barely talk and Cassie doesn't try to hide her anger at her mom. Justin and Abby are an "ex gay" married couple, out to spread their message of Christian redemption, though both are still struggling. Juliet is a former child star struggling to find her place in Hollywood as an adult; Carl's a divorced father whose son has had health struggles. Barbara Fox is the ice queen host, doing whatever she can to rise to the top.

Parkhurst does a masterful job showing how the characters interact and how reality television manipulates the outcomes at the expense of its participants lives. The ending was perfect, and I was sad when it ended, because this was just so good, such a great story, and so well-done. I'm so very happy that I read this, and you know what? I kind of want to read it again! Two thumbs up, five stars, and a million rounds of applause, because I enjoyed every page of this.

Words:

collusion- n- a secret agreement, especially for fraudulent or treacherous purposes, conspiracy.

carnet- n- a customs document allowing an automobile to be driven at no cost across international borders.

cloudberry- n- the orange-yellow edible fruit of a creeping plant, Rubus chamaemorus, of the rose family, related to the raspberries and blackberries and restricted to northern regions.

More Than Words- Judith Miller

2011-02-03T18:09:00.004-06:00

#14. More Than Words (Daughters of Amana #2)- Judith Miller

I looked down at the title of the next book I read in my notebook and thought, "What the heck book is that?"

And I just finished it last week. Eek.

Actually, I think my inability to remember it was more that the title had nothing to do with the book. I remember the storyline perfectly fine, but I'm really not sure why this has the title it does.

Gretchen Kohler lives in the Amana Colonies, keeping store for her recently widowed father and looking after her grandmother, who seems to be slipping further into dementia every day. She and her best friend Conrad are tentatively stepping closer and closer to the possibility of marriage, but a handsome stranger comes swooping into town, and he seems to have eyes for Gretchen. Businessman Allen Finley is more forward than Conrad, and he flatters Gretchen by giving her gifts of books (which, if not forbidden, are at least frowned upon) and taking an interest in her writing. Conrad and her father are suspicious, but Gretchen is naive enough to fall under his spell, believing he only wants to learn about their colony and way of life so he can make it his home, too. It's not long before he's called off to take care of an elderly relative, and Gretchen is mailing him some of her writing. But this, of course, leads to trouble.

Meanwhile, a band of Gypsies set up camp outside of town and Gretchen's younger brother Stefan is fascinated. The townspeople are immediately suspicious, but Stefan sneaks off to spend time with them as often as he can, even skipping school. Oma (Grandmother) is also drawn to them, ending up in their camp several times during a bout of dementia. The Gypsies, of course, aren't all terrible people, and Gretchen and the townspeople have plenty of lessons to learn.

I enjoy a good "bonnet book" now and then, but this was just kind of bland. Gretchen was so overly naive that at times I wanted to shake her. And the two story lines didn't mesh together well for me- there was almost too much going on at once. Stefan! Oma! Father is pissed off and bitter since Mother died! Conrad! Gypsies! Allen Finley! That little missing girl! The little girl who might be the missing girl! And on and on and on. I would've liked to learn a little more about Amana, but I didn't come away with a sense of having done that. This was quick, but just okay, and I won't go on to read any others in the series.

(Editing to add that there were a few discrepancies in the book. I don't think I'd make that great of an editor, especially when it comes to continuity, but there were a few glaringly obvious problems- a character "didn't object to breaking the rules occasionally", and then 80 pages later, she "believed in following the rules. All of them." Whoops. And in one case, a character's husband has two different names in the same paragraph. It happens, not a huge deal. These just really stuck out at me.)

Blame- Michelle Huneven

2011-02-03T17:12:00.003-06:00

#13. Blame- Michelle Huneven

A woman drives drunk (not for the first time) and runs over two Jehovah's Witnesses in her own driveway. When Patsy wakes up in jail, she has no recollection of the crime, but she confesses and gets two years (!) in prison. While on the inside, she connects with the husband and father of the people she killed, and when she's paroled, she resumes her life, only sober this time.

But years later, new information comes to light about Patsy's crime that changes everything. If the information is true, what do the past twenty years mean?

I picked this up off the new books shelf at the library, thinking it sounded interesting, but it turned out to really not be my thing. I felt it moved really slow, and it didn't really seem like there was much of a plot- the book is more like a journey, an overview of a life. The majority of the story is about Patsy rebuilding her life, which doesn't take much- the college she taught at before prison takes her right back, she finds a place to live and friends to accept her right away. There's really very little struggle for her, and for what it's worth, that kind of irritated me.

The big shocker, that new information, happens so close to the end of the book that I didn't feel like it had any impact at all. And no quotation marks were used in this book! That made it a little difficult to read, but I wonder, what is it that leads a writer to make that kind of stylistic choice? Overall, I was pretty underwhelmed, but I think it's just that this wasn't my thing. Not everything is! :)

Words:

spurious- adj- not genuine, authentic or true, not from the claimed, pretended or proper source, counterfeit; (Biology) (of two or more parts, plants, etc.) having a similar appearance but a different structure; of illegitimate birth, bastard.

wastrel- n- a wasteful person, spendthrift.

swivet- n- a state of nervous excitement, haste, or anxiety; flutter.

sophistry- n- a subtle, tricky, superficially plausible but generally fallacious method of reasoning; a false argument, sophism.

contemporaneous- adj- living or occurring during the same period of time, contemporary.

raffish- adj- mildly or sometimes engagingly disreputable or nonconformist, rakish; gaudily vulgar or cheap, tawdry.

pizzle- n- the penis of an animal, especially of a bull; a whip made from a bull's pizzle. (ROFL! This is a real word! I kind of thought it was a made up one. Oy. And according to Google, you can buy a dried pizzle as a treat for your dog. THAT'S something you want strewn all about your living room floor, right?)

putative- adj- commonly regarded as such, supposed.

toyon- n- an evergreen rosaceous shrub or small tree, Heteromeles arbutifolia (or Photinia arbutifolia) of California and northern Mexico, having clusters of small white flowers and bright red berries.

boiserie- n- sculptured paneling, especially that of French architecture in the 18th century.

bollard- n- (Nautical) a thick, low post, usually of iron or steel, mounted on a wharf or the like, two which mooring lines from vessels are attached; (British) one of a series of short posts for excluding or diverting motor vehicles from a road, lawn or the like.

sui generis- (Latin) of his/her/its/their own kind, unique.

specious- adj- apparently good or right though lacking real merit, superficially pleasing or plausible; pleasing to the eye but deceptive.

proscribe- v- to denounce or condemn (a thing) as dangerous or harmful, prohibit; to put outside the protection of the law, outlaw; to banish or exile; to announce the name of (a person) as condemned to death and subject to confiscation of property.

corm- n- (Botany) an enlarged, fleshy, bulblike base of a stem, as in the crocus.

benignant- adj- kind, especially to inferiors, gracious; exerting a good influence, beneficial; (Pathology) benign.

profligate- adj- utterly and shamelessly immoral or dissipated, thoroughly dissolute; recklessly prodigal or extravagant.

voluble- adj- characterized by a ready and continuous flow of words, fluent, glib, talkative.

dacha- n- a Russian country house or villa.

daube- n- a stew of braised meat, vegetables, herbs and seasonings; the pot or casserole in which such a stew is cooked.

abjection- n- the condition of being servile, wretched or contemptible; the act of humiliating; (Mycology) the release of spores by a fungus. (Being horrible versus releasing spores. Huh. How did those two meanings get assigned to the same word? I'm curious.)

The Two Lives of Miss Charlotte Merryweather- Alexandra Potter

2011-02-03T17:00:00.003-06:00

#12. The Two Lives of Miss Charlotte Merryweather- Alexandra Potter

Imagine you're on your way to work one day. You glance out your window and you see...yourself. You, as you were ten years ago. Do you follow yourself? What would you say?

Charlotte Merryweather, overworked owner of her own PR company, finds herself with that chance. An American living in London, she has it all- at least, she looks like she has it all. On the outside, things look fabulous- she's thin, expensive haircut, attractive boyfriend who wants to buy a house with her, she's got a flashy new car and her company does extremely well. On the inside, though, Charlotte's an anxiety-filled mess, a hypochondriac, High Queen of Stress. But when she sees herself from ten years ago- frizzy hair, bad makeup and all- she figures she can save herself a lot of heartache and bad breakups if she can just catch up to that younger self and give her all the knowledge she needs to be successful (and frizz-less) fast. But maybe Charlotte NOW has a thing or two to learn...

Fun chick-lit with a little bit of time travel (but not really). I don't want to spoil anything, but I felt like the ending cheated just a little bit by not coming to a full conclusion as to the HOW. Have you read any other of Alexandra Potter's books? I enjoyed her voice and would love to know what else you enjoyed by her!

Home Safe- Elizabeth Berg

2011-02-03T16:36:00.003-06:00

#11. Home Safe- Elizabeth Berg

Helen's husband Dan up and died on her. Just keeled right over in the kitchen. Part of life, sure, but Helen's just not good at being on her own. She can't do things like take care of the finances, fix the toilet or tell when the car needs an oil change. Dan was supposed to protect her, take care of her...and now Helen's alone.

To make matters worse, she can't write anymore. For a writer, this is a bad thing, and Helen's pretty sure she's lost her gift. Her adult daughter Tessa is nothing but irritated by Helen's attempts to be motherly, and the accountant called and $800,000 is missing from the retirement account and Helen's going to be broke soon.

How Helen didn't have a nervous breakdown right then and there is beyond me. Because that's what I would've done. Lots of tears, screaming, possibly rolling on the floor, all lasting...oh, maybe at least five, six years. Maybe more.

Home Safe is about Helen's journey to independence, finding out what on earth Dan had done with all that missing money and what she's going to do now that she's on her own. It's about redefining yourself, your relationships and your place in the world, when the one thing you thought would always be there is gone.

I really identified with Helen, since I'm kind of a Helen in my own marriage (and am looking to change that! LOL). Her daughter irritated me though- I got that she was frustrated with Helen's mother hen-ness, but jeez, your mom just lost her husband, you don't have to be such a giant bitch. I didn't get the feeling that lashing out at Mom was her way of coping with Dad's death either; Tessa just seemed like the kind of person who'd be constantly rolling her eyes, sighing, and making snotty remarks. Not someone I'd want to be around. Was she like that before her father died, I wonder?

Helen's romance later on in the book felt a little...unbelievable...but I LOVED the scenes with her writing class. In order to make some money, though she usually doesn't teach, Helen decides to take up an offer to teach a community writing class, which is filled with members from all walks of life- a young mentally challenged girl, a businessman, a newscaster, a mechanic in his 20's, etc. How awesome would that be to sit in on? Those scenes were so beautifully crafted, they felt so authentic.

This was warm and sweet and homey, kind of like a big fuzzy blanket. A nice winter read.